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MUNCLE
Contributed by
JIV3
on
Thursday, 21st October 2004 @ 04:27:53 AM in AEST
Topic:
drugabuse
|
MY, uncle is coming home today...
he's coming home from the pen where he's been, for way, to, long.
my UNCLE, is coming home today...
to a empty house with an over-grown yard,
a broke-down car,
and a couple of maxed-out credit cards.
my uncle IS, coming home today...
he swears he quit, this time for sure...
so i asked, "isn't that what you said last time?"
he replied, "i don't remember, it was all, one, big, blur."
my uncle is COMING, home today...
i cried...when he left this time,
his daughter...she died inside when he left this time,
his son...he got shipped to iraq when he left this time.
and his woman...well, his woman moved out when he left this time.
tonight...i pray that he'll have god, on his left this time.
so that when the time comes and he has to choose between life and booze, he might choose right, this time.
my uncle is coming HOME, today...
i don't know if he'll go get another bottle,
i don't know if he'll go to the bar,
i don't even know if he'll wreck another car break his other arm and end up back behind bars?
but i do know one thing...
my uncle is coming home TODAY!!!
Copyright ©
JIV3
... [
2004-10-21 04:27:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: MUNCLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on
Thursday, 21st October 2004 @ 04:36:01 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Awesome write, showing feelings on what you think, about a family member out of sorts, though maybe he has changed, though only time will tell and whether has finally learnt something.
Written well and welcome to the site, I hope you enjoy it as much as others do, Cool poem, enjoyed reading it. |
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Re: MUNCLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 21st October 2004 @ 04:47:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Sincere write on alcoholism. I like the following rhyme
"tonight...i pray that he'll have god, on his left this time."
Its catchy, and I believe your audience was turned to your favour by that.
Keep writing. Welcome to YPDC. |
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Re: MUNCLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Thursday, 21st October 2004 @ 06:04:47 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Excellent write.... Very well done..and I can imagine it being read to an audience..
Thank you for sharing it..
Welcome to YPDC..the best poetry site on the net. I look forward to more from you...
Jenni |
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Re: MUNCLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Thursday, 21st October 2004 @ 06:22:26 AM AEST
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| kool |
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Re: MUNCLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Thursday, 21st October 2004 @ 07:46:08 AM AEST
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Very raw and interesting.
Wish I had a poetry bar.
Stitch |
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Re: MUNCLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Thursday, 21st October 2004 @ 08:09:08 AM AEST
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A very clear and phenomenal poem you have construed that truly touched me as a reader.
Kie
Welcome to YPDC, welcome to the family.
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Re: MUNCLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by reprobate on
Thursday, 21st October 2004 @ 11:27:16 AM AEST
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together perhaps he'll make it this time. know what you're going through but mine didn't allow me the chance to even try to help. keep after him, it does work.
many thanks |
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Re: MUNCLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenn2004 on
Thursday, 21st October 2004 @ 07:23:17 PM AEST
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| Good write, im glad you can write about your uncle coming home, cause my uncle died last fri. |
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Re: MUNCLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Caged Soul on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 03:48:54 AM AEST
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| This is one of those poems that can't be read silently in the head- it's rightious place is on a platform, in front of a crowd and spoken loudly with fullhearted conviction.
I love the flow( or the lack thereof ) as it creates a lively vibe and realness so few can achieve with there work.
All I can say is keep that rhymes coming and keep that soul fire burning!
Welcome to the family.
~souLBro~ |
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