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Traces of Existence
Contributed by
Lee
on
Thursday, 21st October 2004 @ 06:44:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
mystical
|
We'll sit at a proper desk facing each other
Sign up a treaty that implores to take away the sorrow
We'll see that a lake of fire
Is not a contradiction in terms
And we'll prove that a book is more
Than a collection of words
You'll sit in attentive posture at a marble
Chair draped in spiritual fashion
And speak vaguely as time passes
"So.."-then you're cut off as
I interject of your disaffected existence
Pound out anguished notes on your proverbial chest
That sound of the grievances I've so long repressed
Copyright ©
Lee
... [
2004-10-21 18:44:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Traces of Existence
(User Rating: 1 )
by The_Unknown on
Friday, 28th July 2006 @ 02:34:41 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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okay????
this poem is very... okay.
I don't know I think it could use a little more life or something. but otherwise I get what its saying.
keep it up, and try to put a little more life in it... more personality.
luvs ya
jess |
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