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Lousy Lad
Contributed by
subgenius
on
Monday, 25th October 2004 @ 12:20:41 AM in AEST
Topic:
FamilyPoems
|
I am nothing more
than a phantom of your womb
A ghost with a haunting presence
But always invisible
I am nothing more
than the blame for your misery
The aching rotten tooth you despise
But never cleansed
I am nothing more
than a memory you wish to forget
A photograph framed on the wall
But constantly fading
I am nothing more
than the mistakes of your past
An infection that would die if ignored
But steadily scratched
I am nothing more
than an unwanted apology
The sinful son in need of forgiveness
But nothing more
Copyright ©
subgenius
... [
2004-10-25 00:20:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lousy Lad
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Monday, 25th October 2004 @ 01:08:04 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Beautifully written. Your style and the images you bring to mind are, considering the subject matter, not a pleasure to read, per se, but certainly penned with talent. Your poetry reminds me a good bit of Eve's-- might want to check out her work on this site.
Overall, a heartbreakingly sad but near-flawlessly written poem.
--Nora |
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Re: Lousy Lad
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Monday, 25th October 2004 @ 06:25:53 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Great first stanza,
it really promises this
to be a worthy read,
and what it will all be about.
--Mothy |
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