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Weightless
Contributed by
Avarice_Riot
on
Tuesday, 26th October 2004 @ 03:28:43 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
My thoughts have turned so weightless
They seem to spiral into space
Into nightfall, into demise...
Swathed in black silk that is endless
I cannot place this phantasm of a face
There is no room to rise, to rise...
These waves that have rendered me lifeless
Flow my dreams into the darkest embrace
I submerge deeper into lies, into lies...
Into beauteous lies.
Copyright ©
Avarice_Riot
... [
2004-10-26 03:28:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Weightless
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 26th October 2004 @ 03:38:51 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Another masterpiece you have written here. Your poetry leaves me in awe. Awesome poem!!! |
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Re: Weightless
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 26th October 2004 @ 03:39:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I can really identify with this, thoughts spiralling out of control.
I read the decending into lies as kidding myself about life, but whatever the meaning
i could really personalize this to myself.
great writing.
Johnny. |
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Re: Weightless
(User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on
Tuesday, 26th October 2004 @ 05:24:23 AM AEST
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I found this quite interesting. A different way to contemplate the turmoil of thought. I rather like your view of the struggle within. :o} "Beauteous Lies" hmmm?!? Great and short. Nice combo. Kudos!
Thumps ; 0) |
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Re: Weightless
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Wednesday, 27th October 2004 @ 02:53:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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i know the feeling. i can relate to this write.
its rather short and fastly to the point. but it doesnt take away from the write.
your talent shines through this beautifully.
it was a really great poem. nicely done. 5 stars.
Becky |
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Re: Weightless
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 01:28:06 AM AEST
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Very thought provoking write.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Weightless
(User Rating: 1 )
by Red_October on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 08:40:52 AM AEST
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| So free and pure truth in your poetry. You are a true poetic soul. Tiffany J. (Red_October) |
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Re: Weightless
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Friday, 5th November 2004 @ 10:52:10 PM AEST
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Gosh, its brilliantly written.
:) |
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Re: Weightless
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Friday, 19th November 2004 @ 01:12:58 AM AEST
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God..what an awesome conclusion..its a masterpiece...love and smiles my friend:-)
venkat |
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Re: Weightless
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ronald on
Thursday, 25th November 2004 @ 10:06:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| You know what? You're not a super poet... but you're a super duper poet! Great work of poetry here. |
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Re: Weightless
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 05:45:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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If you are going to succumb to lies, they might as well be poetic. I loved the three stanza final line rhyme. Wonderful!
Spike |
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