|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
I never asked
Contributed by
gurlg0newr0ng
on
Thursday, 28th October 2004 @ 08:54:08 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
I never asked for the sunshine
because along with the sun comes the rain
I didn't ask for these feelings
because I knew it would also bring pain
I never asked for forever
because I knew it wouldn't last
I didn't want you in my future
because I knew you'd end up my past
I didn't ask to love you
so how come I do?
I never asked, so I don't deserve all the hurt you put me through
Copyright ©
gurlg0newr0ng
... [
2004-10-28 20:54:08]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: I never asked
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Thursday, 28th October 2004 @ 10:48:59 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| amazing write. i loved this perspective, the emotion, the power, the style, and everything in this. |
|
|
Re: I never asked
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stoney1 on
Saturday, 30th October 2004 @ 05:03:57 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This poem shows some promise, but you need to
do some revision to bring it under control.
:I never asked for the sunshine 9
because along with the sun comes the rain 10
I didn't ask for these feelings 7
because I knew it would also bring pain 10
I never asked for forever 9
because I knew it wouldn't last 8
I didn't want you in my future 9
because I knew you'd end up my past 9
I didn't ask to love you 7
so how come I do? 5
I never asked, so I don't deserve all the hurt you put me through 16
*************************
Suggest something like this
I never asked for the sun {+to} shine 9
{+For} {-because} along with the sun comes the rain 9
{+Oh no,} I didn't ask for these feelings 9
{-because} {+Since} I knew it would also bring pain 9
{+When have} I {-n}ever asked for {-forever} {+always} 9
{+For} {-because} I knew it wouldn't {+ever} last 9
I didn't want you in my future 9
{+Since} {-because} I knew you'd end up {+in} my past 9
I {+haven't ever} {-didn't} ask{+ed} to love you 9
{+Therefore, why is it that} {-so how come} I {+still} do? 9
{-I never} {+Nor} {-asked}, {-so I don't deserve} {+for} {-all} the hurt you {+have} put me through 9
***************************
edit marks removed:
I never asked for the sun to shine 9
For, along with the sun comes the rain 9
Oh no, I didn't ask for these feelings 9
Since I knew it would also bring pain, 9
When have I ever asked for "always"? 9
For I knew it just couldn't last 8
I didn't want you in my future 9
Since I knew you'd end up in my past 9
I haven't even asked to love you 9
Therefore, why is it that I still do? 9
No, none of these things have I sought 8
Nor, for this hurt you have put me through 9
Stoney |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
