|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
lonesome lullaby
Contributed by
freda_burrel
on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 04:09:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
do you ever feel lonely?
just the same as me.
lost and without,
lonely as can be.
to sit beside,
noone is there.
without a word ,
thoughtless dispair.
with scattered winds,
a whisper goes by.
you grab for it ,
just a lonesome lullaby.
Copyright ©
freda_burrel
... [
2004-11-01 16:09:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: lonesome lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 04:11:37 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I absolutely loved this poem...It was just simply beautiful
Mason |
|
|
Re: lonesome lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 04:19:54 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Thanks for writing it. I'd like to point out a couple of things I think would make it better in my eyes.
"to sit beside,
noone is there."
That confuses me. I'm not even sure if the punctuation is supposed to help (sitting beside no-one?) as it threw me when I was just getting into it.
I'm also not sure about scattered winds, as 'scattering' something means something physical, like seeds or earth or something more tangible than air. Apart from this, I thought it was worth the effort to comment because the poem demanded my attention.
Hope this helps in some way,
Keep writing. |
|
|
Re: lonesome lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by StoneAngel on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 04:30:12 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I know exactly how you feel. This poem speaks valume. love it. its kinda happy/sad. |
|
|
Re: lonesome lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by joe-joe on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 05:21:24 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Sooner are later, we all feel that sense of lonliness, nice write... |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
