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A misfire
Contributed by
stonedraider23
on
Wednesday, 3rd November 2004 @ 07:07:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
I struggle to get up
I fail and fall just as hard
You even tried to help me up
But I just pulled you down with me
I'm feeling so low
I can barely see you
Smoke is all I see
I crawl away from where you are laying
Finally ending all the pain is in my grasp
Only enough to help us both
You start to cry
You scream out NOOO!
All I hear is a loud bang
I put the gun to my head
A loud click is what I hear now
A freakin misfire
Now whats left
You're gone and I'm left with shame
Copyright ©
stonedraider23
... [
2004-11-03 19:07:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A misfire
(User Rating: 1 )
by WorthlesSanity666 on
Wednesday, 3rd November 2004 @ 09:01:58 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| No, your poem was good, just a bit confusing... I get it, though. If you spent a few more minutes quality time w/ your poem, it could be something really great. Also, maybe you could go describe the shame in more detail. Just suggestions, don't gotta take em! ;-) Awsome idea, though! |
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Re: A misfire
(User Rating: 1 )
by savedbydeath on
Thursday, 4th November 2004 @ 02:31:46 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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no worries,its great!i just dont like the dead topic but hey i guess i cant say too much now can i,great write ttyl lover boi
savedbydeath |
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