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Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
Contributed by
ShadowDaughter
on
Saturday, 6th November 2004 @ 08:27:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
poets
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To everyone I've met, become friends with, or even just read a poem by, over this year: thank you, thank you so much, probably for more than you'll ever know. I won't be forgetting you soon.
For every member here, every last one of you wonderful people, with love.
sincerely, Nora
* faade, grey every word a whisper every step unnoticed each day slipping, faster further into shame-stale yesterdays that never dared draw breath.
fences, iron every breath a dare every smile frozen each word slipping, faster further into quiet memories of heartbeats left to echo.
ramparts, stone every echo heartlost every call resounding each thought slipping, faster further into austere prologues alive in muse-reveries.
oceans, steelcast every muse a lifeline every star a guide each wish slipping, faster further into inkbled afters and befores, caught and pinned.
pillars, granite every moment caught before every wake a victory each anchor slipping, faster further out of zephyr-seas bequeathing shelter in Titanic fate.
diamond, opaque every shelter fate-formed every chord survival each promise slipping, faster further past the pen-rasped harmonies out of stones for swords.
rain, translucent every self-sword hewn of stone every straw spun golden each instant slipping, faster further into musty scrapbook days consigned to child-neverlands.
cloudmist, smoky every neverland stored in salt every beam forever kept each laugh slipping, faster further out of cured delicacies and clung-to smiles lacking eyes.
tabula, slate every story clinging fast every dream carried in sieves each kindness slipping, faster further out of worlds of scars and words scratched in lead that wont erase.
lapsi sunt, lapsi sumus, et-- (unvoiced, in stage makeup behind velvet curtains that hid too much) lapsa sum. condemned as flat shades -until- offwhite rainbows were descried in backdrop coalescence -and- there were no colors but none were needed.
and at Maypole sky-arc ends, there was argent.
Do you believe in angels?
Nay. Catalysts; we name angels those of such refulgence to illumine night, that we might note the other stars. (they, we, shine)
Do you believe in miracles?
and labimur, still, [all story-shades of meaning] yet simus argenta.
(it holds an English meaning but understanding is not always of highest importance)
Maybe.
Copyright ©
ShadowDaughter
... [
2004-11-06 20:27:56] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 ) by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 6th November 2004 @ 08:36:08 PM AEST (User
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great write nora, it was interesting. =] i loved the ending. |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Saturday, 6th November 2004 @ 08:41:18 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Powerpacked masterpeice!
Awesome.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 ) by outsider on
Saturday, 6th November 2004 @ 08:52:25 PM AEST (User
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Very impressive, I loved the construction of this poem, each word like a brick slotting in to place. |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 ) by faith_my_eyes on
Saturday, 6th November 2004 @ 09:06:41 PM AEST (User
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beautifully ambiguous |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 ) by MoonlitAngel on
Saturday, 6th November 2004 @ 11:24:07 PM AEST (User
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Sweet. I totally get it. And it's EFFING AWESOME. I love my little part, it's perfect. And the way you tied it all together with the falling/slipping thing... and the rainbow thing just flat out rocks. And rolls. It does it all. the end is sooooooo beautiful, this truly is a masterpiece Nora. And I do not say that lightly. You could not have put together a better anniversary piece. I am so effing impressed right now. The thought and heart you put into this. It's amazing. Happy anniversary. Love ya. :)
Dee |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Sunday, 7th November 2004 @ 11:08:58 AM AEST (User
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Omg Nora...It's perfect..and it hits me straight where it hurts.
My little piece is just...wow, I'm gonna have to say perfect again. It just is. I have no idea what else to say, I'm just speechless, and I actually have tears in my eyes.
You explained this to me, and it was just so right, I understood it so much, it was unbelieveable.
Thankyou Nora, for everything.
Love you tons hunni.
Phil xxx
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th November 2004 @ 11:31:15 AM AEST (User
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Again, you do this sight...and yourself proud,
Absolutely ingenious and lovely! |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 10th November 2004 @ 05:21:55 AM AEST (User
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By using repetition, you ensure continuity over what is a rather long, yet compelling exposition of imagery. I haven't a clue how its supposed to represent and correlate to poets here, but I guess that's entirely up to you.
"each anchor slipping, faster
further
out of zephyr-seas
bequeathing shelter in Titanic fate."
Fine, fine images I picked out because it felt that you were drawing me down (with slipping faster, further) and this stanza sang the most in tune with your perceived intent.
I'm not going to bother offering anymore insight or analysis - I can't find anything else that requires my commentary, except to remark that I find it scary that I've been here 9 months, let alone thinking about an anniversary . . .
Congratulations, Nora. |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 ) by Cynthia on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 10:41:41 PM AEST (User
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Oh Nora, this was truly and utterly amazing. I loved it. I hope you have many more years to come in this site. I can't believe how fast a year goes by. It's unbelievable. I have enjoyed our friendship and always will as long as I'm in this site. *hugs* Keep on penning my friend. *S* Cynthia |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 ) by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 4th February 2005 @ 05:05:06 PM AEST (User
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I cannot believe I haven't commented on this before now. I could kill all the things that get in the way of reading poetry like this...
This piece is grandeur and fire, all through. The wording is more than impressive, the format sufficiently complex and artistic, and the interspersed notes (and especially the Latin) just help make it what it is. A real masterpiece, Nora. It may be my favorite. Methinks I'll be printing this out and keeping it with my various favorite poems in existence.
Bravo!
Andrew |
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