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Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
Contributed by
ShadowDaughter
on
Saturday, 6th November 2004 @ 08:27:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
poets
|
To everyone I've met, become friends with, or even just read a poem by, over this year: thank you, thank you so much, probably for more than you'll ever know. I won't be forgetting you soon.
For every member here, every last one of you wonderful people, with love.
sincerely,
Nora
*
faade, grey
every word a whisper
every step unnoticed
each day slipping, faster
further
into shame-stale yesterdays
that never dared draw breath.
fences, iron
every breath a dare
every smile frozen
each word slipping, faster
further
into quiet memories
of heartbeats left to echo.
ramparts, stone
every echo heartlost
every call resounding
each thought slipping, faster
further
into austere prologues
alive in muse-reveries.
oceans, steelcast
every muse a lifeline
every star a guide
each wish slipping, faster
further
into inkbled afters
and befores, caught and pinned.
pillars, granite
every moment caught before
every wake a victory
each anchor slipping, faster
further
out of zephyr-seas
bequeathing shelter in Titanic fate.
diamond, opaque
every shelter fate-formed
every chord survival
each promise slipping, faster
further
past the pen-rasped harmonies
out of stones for swords.
rain, translucent
every self-sword hewn of stone
every straw spun golden
each instant slipping, faster
further
into musty scrapbook days
consigned to child-neverlands.
cloudmist, smoky
every neverland stored in salt
every beam forever kept
each laugh slipping, faster
further
out of cured delicacies
and clung-to smiles lacking eyes.
tabula, slate
every story clinging fast
every dream carried in sieves
each kindness slipping, faster
further
out of worlds of scars and words
scratched in lead that wont erase.
lapsi sunt, lapsi sumus, et--
(unvoiced, in stage makeup
behind velvet curtains that hid too much)
lapsa sum.
condemned as flat shades
-until-
offwhite rainbows were descried
in backdrop coalescence
-and-
there were no colors
but none were needed.
and at Maypole sky-arc ends,
there was argent.
Do you believe in angels?
Nay. Catalysts; we name angels
those of such refulgence
to illumine night, that we might note
the other stars.
(they, we, shine)
Do you believe in miracles?
and labimur, still,
[all story-shades of meaning]
yet
simus argenta.
(it holds an English meaning
but understanding is not always
of highest importance)
Maybe.
Copyright ©
ShadowDaughter
... [
2004-11-06 20:27:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 6th November 2004 @ 08:36:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| great write nora, it was interesting. =] i loved the ending. |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 6th November 2004 @ 08:41:18 PM AEST
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Powerpacked masterpeice!
Awesome.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 )
by outsider on
Saturday, 6th November 2004 @ 08:52:25 PM AEST
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| Very impressive, I loved the construction of this poem, each word like a brick slotting in to place. |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Saturday, 6th November 2004 @ 09:06:41 PM AEST
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| beautifully ambiguous |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Saturday, 6th November 2004 @ 11:24:07 PM AEST
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Sweet. I totally get it. And it's EFFING AWESOME. I love my little part, it's perfect. And the way you tied it all together with the falling/slipping thing... and the rainbow thing just flat out rocks. And rolls. It does it all. the end is sooooooo beautiful, this truly is a masterpiece Nora. And I do not say that lightly. You could not have put together a better anniversary piece. I am so effing impressed right now. The thought and heart you put into this. It's amazing. Happy anniversary. Love ya. :)
Dee |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Sunday, 7th November 2004 @ 11:08:58 AM AEST
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Omg Nora...It's perfect..and it hits me straight where it hurts.
My little piece is just...wow, I'm gonna have to say perfect again. It just is. I have no idea what else to say, I'm just speechless, and I actually have tears in my eyes.
You explained this to me, and it was just so right, I understood it so much, it was unbelieveable.
Thankyou Nora, for everything.
Love you tons hunni.
Phil xxx
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th November 2004 @ 11:31:15 AM AEST
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Again, you do this sight...and yourself proud,
Absolutely ingenious and lovely! |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 10th November 2004 @ 05:21:55 AM AEST
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By using repetition, you ensure continuity over what is a rather long, yet compelling exposition of imagery. I haven't a clue how its supposed to represent and correlate to poets here, but I guess that's entirely up to you.
"each anchor slipping, faster
further
out of zephyr-seas
bequeathing shelter in Titanic fate."
Fine, fine images I picked out because it felt that you were drawing me down (with slipping faster, further) and this stanza sang the most in tune with your perceived intent.
I'm not going to bother offering anymore insight or analysis - I can't find anything else that requires my commentary, except to remark that I find it scary that I've been here 9 months, let alone thinking about an anniversary . . .
Congratulations, Nora. |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cynthia on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 10:41:41 PM AEST
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| Oh Nora, this was truly and utterly amazing. I loved it. I hope you have many more years to come in this site. I can't believe how fast a year goes by. It's unbelievable. I have enjoyed our friendship and always will as long as I'm in this site. *hugs* Keep on penning my friend. *S* Cynthia |
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Re: Offwhite: One-Year Anniversary Poem for YPDC
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 4th February 2005 @ 05:05:06 PM AEST
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I cannot believe I haven't commented on this before now. I could kill all the things that get in the way of reading poetry like this...
This piece is grandeur and fire, all through. The wording is more than impressive, the format sufficiently complex and artistic, and the interspersed notes (and especially the Latin) just help make it what it is. A real masterpiece, Nora. It may be my favorite. Methinks I'll be printing this out and keeping it with my various favorite poems in existence.
Bravo!
Andrew |
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