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White Against You
Contributed by
Red_October
on
Tuesday, 9th November 2004 @ 09:08:21 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
white against you
mouths connected
tongue barely touches
time easily forgets
earth under weight crunches
butterflies inside
and out
not remembering what i was desolate about
so close, not letting go
bumping temperatures ever climbing
in wind dust
so close it can't pass between us
pulling and ravish nature
white against you
loving softly
secret
not true life behind visions sealed
taking chances
believing it's real
undone for moments
for life behind secrets
far better than
what's known to be true
loving softly
white against you
Copyright ©
Red_October
... [
2004-11-09 21:08:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: White Against You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Overstated on
Thursday, 11th November 2004 @ 04:05:06 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| this is superb an excellent piece of writing - i loved the ending how it relates to the title |
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Re: White Against You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Wednesday, 17th November 2004 @ 03:56:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I like this! wow. I adore how you've used rhyme here -- not overtly or obviously, even... rather it is slipped in just when it can have the greatest effect.
This has a wonderful flow as well... a cadence that begs the reader to read it aloud. Very nicely done!
Happy to have stumbled across this,
SNM |
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