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Blood Flower: 11 - Petulance
Contributed by
Nazmythian
on
Monday, 22nd November 2004 @ 02:51:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From Blood Flower: Deceptions ... ( part 10 )
I sensed a somewhat familiar change in her
Just before she buried her teeth into my neck
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shock at first, evolved into anger unbridled And I turned, then I turned on her My hand shot to her throat And I raised her up off of me I raised her up off of the floor I raised her up into the air And I hurled her across the room Watching as she flew Watching as she tumbled and spun High above the bed Watching as she slammed into the wall Then fell down onto the night table that Collapsed beneath the sudden added weight An oil lamp, which had been burning atop it Shattered upon the floor The flaming wick, mercifully extinguished Smothered and drowned by flowing oil She rose amidst the rubble Arguably less attractive Than a few scant moments prior She spat my blood upon the floor in disgust Before bending to retrieve a broken leg From the now defunct table Moving in unison, as if in some macabre dance We lunged towards each other Meeting in the air, our bodies collided We crashed down upon the bed Her impromptu steak slid past my guard And found its way through my tunic The jagged tip pierced my flesh Intense pain erupted within me As the splintered shaft drove deeper I felt it tear muscle and sinew It came to rest against bone Inside and just below my left shoulder I howled in pain and rage as I drew it out I backhanded her hard across the face Using the offensive stick She reeled and fell, sprawling backwards I pounced upon her Pinning her left arm beneath my knee I raised the makeshift weapon Preparing to strike, I took aim Her right hand thrust out towards me Her thumb entered the hole in my chest That the table leg had vacated The world spun at an odd angle I heard the steak clatter to the floor Reaching across my chest With my right hand I clutched at her wrist My left arm dangled useless at the moment I pulled hard as we grappled My skin burned as the burrowing thumb Alternated between sliding out And digging further into me With a shout and a moment of extreme effort I extricated the foreign digit From the folds of my flesh A multitude of sharp snaps and cracks Accompanied her wail of pain As I folded her wrist backwards upon itself She drew a ragged breath between her teeth Then she opened her mouth as if to speak My head imploded and the voice I heard Reverberating within my skull Though decidedly feminine, was not hers My vision evaporated into a field of white Burning light appeared from behind my own eyes Generated from some secret place in my mind The voice was discord and dissonance A thousand fingernails breaking Raking down the length of a large blackboard I was losing consciousness and collapsing Falling, sinking, tumbling down upon the linen Commanded by a being that was not there With a voice that screamed ...
STOP ! You WILL NOT do this !!
Copyright ©
Nazmythian
... [
2004-11-22 14:51:16] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Blood Flower: 11 - Petulance
(User Rating: 1 ) by pixie on
Monday, 22nd November 2004 @ 02:52:12 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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ooh excellent, a brilliant write Scott *hugs*
pixie xx
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Re: Blood Flower: 11 - Petulance
(User Rating: 1 ) by FleurdeSang on
Monday, 22nd November 2004 @ 03:12:44 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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*Shivers...* Such intense power! I saw everything, heard everything, felt everything, as if it were I he struck, as if it were I that shrieked those powerful words... Incredible! Absolutely flawless! The ruthless anger, the demand for dominance... You had my full attention, even when I wanted to look away...
A beautiful, yet disturbing tale, dear Scott. You weave them so well! A deliciously morbid dance, frighteningly real, and so violent! But I still love it. Encore and roses! Another exquisite story Anna has whispered to you, cheri Scott. I thank you for sharing. Much love! And can't wait for the twelfth piece! Forever,
Fleur de Bonheur |
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Re: Blood Flower: 11 - Petulance
(User Rating: 1 ) by Willofree on
Monday, 22nd November 2004 @ 05:45:30 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Naz, Again a spell binding and very powerful write. I really get drawn into the story.
Great work, you ought to write a novel.
I really enjoy reading your work.
Willofree |
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Re: Blood Flower: 11 - Petulance
(User Rating: 1 ) by Stitch on
Monday, 22nd November 2004 @ 06:25:27 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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What are you doing mucking about on this site?
This is incredible.
You, my friend are a consummate and professional storyteller.
I will be proud some day when you are a
published hot shot (if you aren't already)
to say "I knew you when."
Stitch
(who can't wait for the next installment) |
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Re: Blood Flower: 11 - Petulance
(User Rating: 1 ) by theMoth on
Monday, 22nd November 2004 @ 07:05:32 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Glad you are back on this stuff.
And doing an excellent job.
Keeping it interesting.
Keep going!
--Mothy |
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Re: Blood Flower: 11 - Petulance
(User Rating: 1 ) by Spike on
Monday, 22nd November 2004 @ 09:51:04 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I was enthralled from started to finish! gripping, poetic, accessible. I can't wait to the next instalment!
Spike |
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Re: Blood Flower: 11 - Petulance
(User Rating: 1 ) by Cesaria1 on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 11:10:31 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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| wow, what a nightmare! |
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Re: Blood Flower: 11 - Petulance
(User Rating: 1 ) by autumngreeneyes on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 09:11:29 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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| gosh this is good!!! we should talk.. |
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Re: Blood Flower: 11 - Petulance
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Friday, 3rd December 2004 @ 01:06:22 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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well hell naz i agree fully with stitchy.
this.... ya know i dont have words for it.
its unbelievible.
awesomely done man.
Loved this.
Becky |
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Re: Blood Flower: 11 - Petulance
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Monday, 20th December 2004 @ 09:56:31 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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O_o I thought I had commented on this... Guess not.
Well Scotty, I gotta agree with Stitchy, It's an honour to know such a fantastic storyteller and poet.
*wants a signed book* ;) lol
Nah, I'm serious.
I think this is really good. Not as good as some, I don't think this tells quite as well as some of them. It's still great though. lol.
*wills you to write more* lol ;)
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: Blood Flower: 11 - Petulance
(User Rating: 1 ) by TaintedSoul on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 11:32:14 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very intense moment in the storyline ... enjoyed the fight! Very descriptive.
peace
TS |
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