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ME AND WILLY
Contributed by
trivking64
on
Monday, 22nd November 2004 @ 04:21:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
When I was a little boy,we had it pretty rough
Money was the problem: we didn't have enough
Me and my six brothers,we wore each others' shoes,
While Mom was playin' Bingo and Dad was drunk on booze.
We never had no fancy stuff like indoor plumbin',no!
Right out there in the outhouse is where we had to go,
We couldn't afford those games like Monopoly and Checkers
So me and all my brothers,we played with our peckers
Yes,I played with my pecker and I'm not ashamed to say
I played with it fast and slow and every which-a-way
Most men will deny it and swear that it's not right
But they play with their peckers too --- probably every night
I was barely six years old,they made me go to school
I sat in the back row playin' with my tool
One time,the teacher caught me and shouted out my name
And sent me to the office --- my head was hung in shame
Would I get the paddle? Or would they kick me out,
As I walked into the office,my future was in doubt,
Till I saw Principal Miller with his pecker in his fist,
And,without any punishment,I was quietly dismissed
Yes,I played with my pecker and I'm not ashamed to say
I see nothin' wrong with it,it's perfectly okay!
Some people don't believe this,but I swear it's not a joke:
I've gotten so good I can switch hands and never miss a stroke
Went to church on Sunday,I just sat there reachin'
Deep inside my pocket while that man was a-preachin'
Just a-yankin' and a-crankin' while he read each Bible verse
One time Mama caught me and hit me with her purse
The preacher stopped and looked around --- "Hey,who made that noise?"
Mama fixed me with a stare that would scare all little boys
"When I get you home," she hissed,"your dad'll tan your hide!"
"Who do you think taught me how?" I quietly replied
Yes,I played with my pecker and I'm not ashamed to say
That it's my favorite thing to do on a rainy day
There's no better way to insure that time slips
I've got scabs and callouses all along my fingertips
Little girl moved in next door,she was poor just like me
No pretty toys or Barbie dolls to keep her company
One day while I was strokin',she came into the yard
And asked what I was doin' cause it looked kinda hard
"I don't have one," she mumbled then she began to whine,
My face lit up. "No need to cry,here! Borrow mine!"
I remember very well,her name was Becky Decker
Bet you know the next line ---she played with my pecker
Yes,I played with my pecker and I'm not ashamed to say
For hours and hours and hours,in bed is where I lay,
With a big wide smile on my face,beads of sweat pourin' down
Just jerkin' the ol' gherkin --- now tell me,would you frown?
Just last week,I was drivin' home along Interstate 44,
Didn't have but a couple drinks --- well,maybe a little more
The radio was blarin' and I was singin' along
One hand on the steerin' wheel,the other on my dong
I was smilin' and a-laughin' as I went around that curve
Then,my tires hit a wet spot and I went into a swerve
Ran my car into a ditch,the policeman called a wrecker
He asked me how it happened --- "Well...I was playin' with my pecker!"
Yes,I play with my pecker and I'm not ashamed to say
Even as I sit here with society's debt to pay,
Most men will deny it and swear that it's not right
But they play with their peckers too --- probably every night
Copyright ©
trivking64
... [
2004-11-22 16:21:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: ME AND WILLY
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Monday, 22nd November 2004 @ 05:12:18 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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pmsl lololol great write
pixie xx |
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Re: ME AND WILLY
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 12:10:37 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Funny as hell |
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