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Pain Must Stay
Contributed by
UnlovedChild
on
Monday, 22nd November 2004 @ 10:19:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
My head is aching
Voices I hear
Screaming help me
This I fear
I try to block these horrible voices out
But they are too strong
Please get them out
Now they are gone
But my pain is still here
Tears are coming
Falling gently at first
But now they are pouring down like rocks are hitting my face
It hurts almost as bad as the pain
The tears can leave
But the pain must stay
Copyright ©
UnlovedChild
... [
2004-11-22 22:19:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Pain Must Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by LEMMEN on
Monday, 22nd November 2004 @ 11:08:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Why so much pain your words scream out with in. This sadness inside may you find the light. And make this darkness flee. "good write" So full of emotion.
~~DENNIS~~ |
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Re: Pain Must Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 12:32:39 AM AEST
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| awesome |
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Re: Pain Must Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 07:43:24 AM AEST
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You're off to a good start young one.
Don't stop writing.
Maybe work on paring things down a bit.
See if you can say more with fewer words.
Stitch |
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Re: Pain Must Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 08:42:13 AM AEST
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Amy this is so good, you such a fab poet. I like the flow it needs more lines tho. But overall its a lovely poem full on pain.
Hugs,
Jane |
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Re: Pain Must Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 05:21:59 AM AEST
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| Aww, hun...You break my heart, This one made me want to cry. I hope life takes a good turn for you girl. You are so kind and deserve wonderous things to happen to you. Keep your head up. Good write! |
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