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Desperate times
Contributed by
xx_lil_devilish_angel_xx
on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 12:44:01 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
Feelings of loneliness and pure emptiness,
The monster slowly takes over me,
Eating away all the light and airy images of happiness,
Replacing them with me looking forward to my death.
The jet black falcon flocks around me,
Feasting on my past happines, looking smug,
Whilst I the wilting grey rose,
Struggles to keep herself from drowning.
The guardian angel who used to keep me going,
Slaughtered by the Devil himself,
I stare out of the corner of my eye at,
The shiny, beautiful, cold, steel blade.
Too blunt to even make a noticeable scratch,
I go crazy, almost insane, trying to make myself feel the pain,
She tells me I deserve it, that I should hate myself,
I have nothing to live for, I screw everything up!
She finally tells me to put my failed efforts to a temporary halt,
For a short while, at least, anyway,
She means until I find another implement,
That won't just hurt but destroy.
Copyright ©
xx_lil_devilish_angel_xx
... [
2004-11-23 12:44:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Desperate times
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 01:09:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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an emotional write, well composed
pixie xx |
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Re: Desperate times
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 02:05:55 PM AEST
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Very intriguing write.
I enjoyed it.
--Mothy |
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Re: Desperate times
(User Rating: 1 )
by Catalina on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 03:43:10 PM AEST
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I really enjoyed reading this.
~Catalina~ |
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Re: Desperate times
(User Rating: 1 )
by LEMMEN on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 03:46:17 PM AEST
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This darkness Thats prayes on you she is nothing. Its been a while since I heard someone eles call this demon a she. This is well written nice job.
~~DENNIS~~ |
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Re: Desperate times
(User Rating: 1 )
by amethyste on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 03:54:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I really enjoyed your poem. It is well written, and exciting. I particularly like the way that you personalize the monster. It starts as a slow attack, and ends with a bang. The question aspect is removed, and there is no longer a choice of will I live or die. The choice is only how will I die. Very descriptive, the reader can feel your pain. |
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