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Ammunition D'Amour
Contributed by
deadreckoning1983
on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 02:00:01 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
The shotgun message spattered on the wall,
The burnt casing marks on your cheek;
A wasted luxury on you.
This love surrounded by a copper casing,
Engulfed in smoke,
It was for you.
The way you jerked at the trigger,
Hoping for some retribution that would not come.
It was my shell that struck first,
Burried in your brow,
Kissing the forhead till it bled a bit.
You scraped your nails against the grain,
Straining for leverage.
Liberated, you found sleep in the chemical reaction.
Friction, combustion between love and hate.
Squeezing the barrel you begged for my love,
Until the walls were red,
And all that was left..........................was hate.
Copyright ©
deadreckoning1983
... [
2004-11-24 02:00:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ammunition D'Amour
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 02:14:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow, this iz an excellent poem... WELL DONE!!! |
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Re: Ammunition D'Amour
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 05:00:25 AM AEST
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| I like it because it is very original. Haven;t read a single one like it on here. I thought it was hot and well written! |
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Re: Ammunition D'Amour
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 05:11:05 AM AEST
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Very interesting, let me tell you I haven't read anything like it yet and hopefully this wont be the last one.
Hugs,
Jane |
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Re: Ammunition D'Amour
(User Rating: 1 )
by anonymous_skies on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 05:35:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
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That was...shocking... It really drove home this empty feeling that I've only ever felt when reading really great poems, like Emily Dickinson and Edgar Allen Poe, sort of like a mix of poetic...something else. Love and bullets, you put them together in such an amazing way...
>>Anyonymous Skies |
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Re: Ammunition D'Amour
(User Rating: 1 )
by katyqueen35 on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 07:13:39 AM AEST
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I got to say Dane that this write is excellent .
So different then any other that i ever read.
So intense with love and hate.good job. |
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Re: Ammunition D'Amour
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 07:57:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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now that was well worth a read, it was awesome,
pixie xx |
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Re: Ammunition D'Amour
(User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 01:40:16 PM AEST
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Dane, this is amazing...definitly very excellent, and worth reading...perfect
Mason |
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Re: Ammunition D'Amour
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Friday, 26th November 2004 @ 02:08:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
They seemed to like it.
It is excellent.
I hope they will read your other poems.
You have written many good ones
that deserve new readers.
--Mothy |
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Re: Ammunition D'Amour
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 28th November 2004 @ 12:38:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Genius Dane. How you capture feelings
in such a creative and unique way is
sometimes beyond my comprehension. I
have read this over and over and each time
I get a different feeling.
"...This love surrounded by a copper casing..."
Brilliant line...
~Breezy |
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Re: Ammunition D'Amour
(User Rating: 1 )
by cuddlytiger17 on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 04:29:03 PM AEST
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|
This is phenomenal. There really isn't much that I can say. Just that this is one more great piece of work to add to your already profound collection.
"Kissing the forhead till it bled a bit."
"Liberated, you found sleep in the chemical reaction.
Friction, combustion between love and hate." |
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Re: Ammunition D'Amour
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Wednesday, 1st December 2004 @ 10:58:35 PM AEST
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Until the walls were red
I'm stymied by that line. You could knock me over with a feather. And that... that is rather exactly how I think one does/should feel after reading an excellent poem.
Well, well done!
~SNM~ |
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Re: Ammunition D'Amour
(User Rating: 1 )
by EmoDCgirl36 on
Sunday, 17th July 2005 @ 06:53:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| That was really good. I don't know if I can interpret it like Romanticist but I enjoyed it. |
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Re: Ammunition D'Amour
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 1st July 2014 @ 10:01:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow..............................
hugs n' love nessa |
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