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Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 11:00:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Depression - what I've gained
Sanity - what I've lost
I wish I could cope,
But these tears say I can't
Sitting on my bed
Hugging my knees to my chest
(In fear of the blood
lapping at my ankles)
I pull deep within myself
And erect a flimsy barricade
Sanity - a forgotten luxury
Loneliness - a whistling wasteland
Tearing at the rusty wounds
That comprise my wrists
As I pull deeper inside
Amongst the anonymity of shadows
(Darkness a comforting Presence)
And know that I hold
Deep within myself
The shredded remnants of what I once was
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2004-11-24 23:00:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 11:12:02 PM AEST
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So sad but written well.
I can certainly relate.
Hang tuff-n-keep putting out awesome writes.
luv, huggs, strength,
emy |
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Thursday, 25th November 2004 @ 12:53:28 AM AEST
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Joel this is really a good write, you express your feelings well with this one.
Hugs,
Jane |
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Thursday, 25th November 2004 @ 01:34:13 AM AEST
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wow Joel, this is an awesome write, well done, and keep it up!!!
Caiti |
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Thursday, 25th November 2004 @ 01:43:27 AM AEST
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"Darkness a comforting presence..and I know that.."..very sublime introspection..
SWell ..I am impressed by your works as they are always captivating .:-)venkat |
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by Avarice_Riot on
Thursday, 25th November 2004 @ 07:24:01 AM AEST
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| Very well said...I definitely understand how you feel here, as I'm sure a lotta other people who read this do. |
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 25th November 2004 @ 07:34:35 AM AEST
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Awww Joel *hugs* this is so emotional and sad, written very well,
pixie xx |
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternalNight4x on
Thursday, 25th November 2004 @ 10:25:54 AM AEST
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| very well written and well expressed write...i can relate to this very well...keep posting |
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gothchyk on
Thursday, 25th November 2004 @ 11:15:49 AM AEST
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| Awesome write, what a way to express feelings. Great job. |
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by DamentedSuicide on
Thursday, 25th November 2004 @ 08:32:57 PM AEST
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i know this feeling way to well
I hope you are stronger than me
~~~Raven~~~ |
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Saturday, 27th November 2004 @ 09:51:12 AM AEST
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In this poem you face, uncover, and you are hauntingly honest of what you see and feel.
I have to tell you it hit me straight in the heart.
Awesome poem.
K |
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by Chanti on
Sunday, 28th November 2004 @ 01:11:56 PM AEST
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Ahh beautiful... i loved this one.
"Sanity - a forgotten luxury
Loneliness - a whistling wasteland..."
love those lines.
-Chanti
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by Deathly_Rose on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 08:24:50 AM AEST
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wow, extremely well written,
describing feelings in which some people know, while others do not.
Very well explained.
I love this part " Sanity - a forgotten luxury
Loneliness - a whistling wasteland "
the words mean very little when unkown,
but when described mean a whole other thing.
Continue the good work.
*~Alicia~* |
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by Strawberry_Stitch on
Thursday, 2nd December 2004 @ 06:34:48 AM AEST
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| beautifully lonely |
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 08:46:35 PM AEST
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damn...
this poem was really powerful.
Depression - what I've gained
Sanity - what I've lost
Sanity - a forgotten luxury
Loneliness - a whistling wasteland
just damn, i loved this.
its very deep, emotional and yet sad.
i can very much to relate to this.
awesome poem. i am very impressed.
Arden
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by LadyWynter on
Wednesday, 23rd February 2005 @ 02:35:10 PM AEST
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So lonely and sad, yet so beautiful. It's a very powerful piece, excellently written!
LadyWynter |
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Re: Shredded Remnants of What I Once Was
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 9th March 2005 @ 09:36:14 PM AEST
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| so powerfully brilliant it leaves the reader in awe. excellent work of art, joel. |
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