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The journey to starting over
Contributed by
Gothchyk
on
Friday, 26th November 2004 @ 08:20:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
There is a young lady of 17 on this journey.
She is the oldest of two, and carries a heavy load for one so young.
She is obedient and respectful,
But if you asked her to describe herself in one word that word would be lonely
For the secret her mother tries to hide has broken the trust they once shared.
She has many talents, but the one she sherishes most is her abitity to draw.
Drawing offers her a way to escape everything that goes on
in what has recently become her everyday life.
One day she drew a self-portrait,
she sat and looked at it for hours trying to find something new about herself.
All she found was the same long blonde hair, blue eyes and soft complexion
that have been there longer than she can remember.
Her dreams become new as her hopes change into something more beautiful
and more defined, while she erases and shades them into perfection.
She can't help wanting to draw out in simple curves and lines what her new life will be like.
The only thing holding her back is the fact that she does not know what line to draw first.
Copyright ©
Gothchyk
... [
2004-11-26 20:20:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The journey to starting over
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 26th November 2004 @ 09:26:34 PM AEST
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An awesome write.
luv, hggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: The journey to starting over
(User Rating: 1 )
by cuddlytiger17 on
Friday, 26th November 2004 @ 10:08:40 PM AEST
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| You have a couple typos in the 6th line. Otherwise, this is pretty good. I think it fits the category of "Poetry That Tells A Story" better, even though this is sad. I liked this line: "while she erases and shades them into perfection." |
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Re: The journey to starting over
(User Rating: 1 )
by Katie2008 on
Friday, 26th November 2004 @ 10:43:33 PM AEST
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I really like this. It seems like you get some sort of escape with writing, too. Great poem.
Katie |
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Re: The journey to starting over
(User Rating: 1 )
by Doriens_Picture on
Monday, 20th December 2004 @ 11:19:27 PM AEST
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this feels a bit autobiographical
i can see you in the words |
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Re: The journey to starting over
(User Rating: 1 )
by Addelyn on
Tuesday, 26th April 2005 @ 07:27:53 PM AEST
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| I love the last line! its great a poem with only a few typos:) Eloquently written! |
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Re: The journey to starting over
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 08:10:01 PM AEST
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hey goth,
maybe you should let the first line draw itself,
then all you have to do is follow its lead. |
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Re: The journey to starting over
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Friday, 16th September 2005 @ 02:16:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wow! for the lack of better words. |
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