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Twinkle, Twinkle
Contributed by
anonymous_skies
on
Saturday, 27th November 2004 @ 09:25:34 PM in AEST
Topic:
InspirationalPoems
|
If the stars blinked back at him
Subtly, tenderly
Sprinkling his night sky with fullness
He didn't feel it.
If the night embraced him
Softly, lovingly
Soothing the sunburnt realities.
He didn't know.
If the breezes caressed him
Timidly, yearningly
Breathing his smoldered desires
Back to life
He wished on.
"Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wish for things so far
Waiting on those dreams afar
Can't I wonder who you are?"
Copyright ©
anonymous_skies
... [
2004-11-27 21:25:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Twinkle, Twinkle
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Saturday, 27th November 2004 @ 10:27:36 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Oooh, I love it.
You begin wonderfully and it just gets better . . . this has gotta be the best poem I've read all day.
Only thing that marred how perfect this was-- the double rhyme of far and afar. Nothing terrible, but it detracted a little. Is there anything you could use in place of one?
Just a thought.
Anyhow, great job. Keep writing, I'll keep reading.
--Nora |
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Re: Twinkle, Twinkle
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Sunday, 28th November 2004 @ 10:57:24 AM AEST
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a Message)
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"Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wish for things so far
Waiting on those dreams afar
Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wish for things so far.
then put my wishes in a jar
If I could have one dream come true
That dream would only be of you
So I keep that jar beside my heart
where it's been so torn apart
Hope that there beside the jar..
by the hearts one little scar
A wish made on a star on night
may like a magic rug take flight
And make my only wish come true.
Star bright, Star light..bring me, YOU. |
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