|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Vague
Contributed by
N0body
on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 05:41:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I walked away all alone,
Ignoring your plead, your sad quiet moan.
But now Ive traveled far over seas and past the luminous glowing moon,
But sometimes I fear that I left you too soon.
My love for wandering can only be so strong,
Because sometimes I feel that my path leads me wrong.
Sometimes I feel Im that soldier going nowhere,
Following orders without a thought or a care.
Because now Ive forgotten what Ive once known,
I wonder what you all look like, because Im sure that youve grown.
The clock ticks slowly but I know time flies fast,
Because I no longer want the future but only the past.
Ive been walking forever, through every season,
Searching for answers, for a satisfying reason.
Ive walked through wheat fields golden and brown,
Past great gray buildings in every town.
Ive swam in the ocean, an abyss of blue,
Through luscious green forests, where ivy vines grew.
I lose track of miles and distance too,
And begin to lose my mind and my memories of you.
My heart forever aches with a lust I cant mend,
And Ill forever wonder if Ill see you in the end.
Copyright ©
N0body
... [
2004-11-29 17:41:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Vague
(User Rating: 1 )
by cuddlytiger17 on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 06:18:47 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is pretty good! There were a few parts that seemed a bit forced, but otherwise I like it. You've got some really good lines.
"Sometimes I feel I’m that soldier going nowhere,
Following orders without a thought or a care."
^I know everyone is guilty of doing this; just going with the flow of things and not thinking about what they're doing.
"Because now I’ve forgotten what I’ve once known,
I wonder what you all look like, because I’m sure that you’ve grown."
^So sad, a line that truly pulls at ur heart. Definitely relates to anyone who's ever been seperated from someone they've cared for.
"The clock ticks slowly but I know time flies fast,
Because I no longer want the future but only the past."
^Great! Especially the first of these two lines.
And I love the imagery following these lines I've quoted. Good job! =) |
|
|
Re: Vague
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 09:33:03 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| great write. |
|
|
Re: Vague
(User Rating: 1 )
by kyletycz on
Tuesday, 30th November 2004 @ 02:19:01 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
awsome write, i think i know how you feel, there is a girl that no matter how hard ive tried i cant come to hate her, even though she doesnt seem to care about me at all anymore, and i cant get her out of my mind no matter how hard ive tried, keep up the nice work
l8r
Ninja Tycz |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
