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Cloudy
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 01:07:48 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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I remember
Fading lines of now blurred ink
And metal, fascinating metal
That I confess to have over thought
Everything
From comfort to bruised skin
Music, moonlight and then
Nights bursting heart giving way
To the practical considerations of day
Observing now
Fear is as absent as you today
And pain, the unbearable ache
Suddenly so beautifully appropriate
All of it
From living room to bedroom door
Tearsdrops, smiles much more
Yesterday has paused for now
So the future may exist somehow
Knowingly then
A passions birthed by emptiness
And screams, undeniably real
Are shredding time and changing place
Entirely
From tender heart to abandoned soul
Alone, newborn yet full
A star has fallen from the sky
A sign this wanderer is guided by
****
Reach out to trace the lines
Wipe the tears and read the sign
Open wide and let it out
Take it in, forgetting doubt
Stepping forward in the dark
Break for day, oh! bleeding heart
For looking back is not allowed
If one is to ride upon the clouds
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2004-12-06 01:07:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 01:23:53 AM AEST
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Great write. A masterpeice of beauty-n-wisdom.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanmaya on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 02:34:23 AM AEST
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I think this is an awesome write.
Every line speaks a lot...
I loved the title too. |
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 04:21:12 AM AEST
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SNM this is fantastic, you have such a way with your poetry.
Hugs,
Jane |
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 05:45:16 AM AEST
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I think I enjoyed reading this poem so much I literally absorbed each word. Very inspirational, elegant and wise. You blew me away. 5*****.
Kie |
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 06:03:53 AM AEST
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a very intresting and wonderful write,
*is looking forward to the co-write*
pixie xx |
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 09:10:46 AM AEST
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Beautiful, such insight...
Wow, you say so much here.
"Alone, newborn... yet full"
I think that is a key line here.
I am very moved by this, you are truely an incredible poet...and person.
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 09:47:25 AM AEST
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I love the last stanza. Isn't the past something we all struggle to break free from? This is something I could get lost in.
Stitch |
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 03:25:16 PM AEST
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I like it, but I think
you have gotten into the habit
of italicizing and seperating
your last stanza too much.
I don't know why you
did that here.
--Mothy |
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 04:06:54 PM AEST
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I read the the first stanza as past
The second as present
The third as future
And the fourth ( the topper ) the lesson learned within.
( that is my perception anyway )
* sitting in a corner coffee shop ... hefting a steamy hot cup of plain black java, a subtle smile of seemingly shared knowledge, and a solitary tear for such beautiful words ... my salute to a fine, fine write by a very talented poetess !! |
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 04:41:07 PM AEST
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You brought me to the sad depths depression...then lifted my spirits with that final thought. An excellent bit of writing my friend.
Very, very well done
Roses
Larry |
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Tuesday, 7th December 2004 @ 03:53:48 PM AEST
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I can only conjecture and may misinterpret.
I remember....Everything...Observing now....
All of It....Knowingly Then....Entirely
....trace the lines(like I have been there before)...let it out ....no looking back ... ride upon the clouds.
It sounds like a lesson learned and now it's time to move on... Great write Willofree |
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Tuesday, 7th December 2004 @ 11:49:06 PM AEST
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"..And screams, undeniably real
Are shredding time and changing place
Entirely From tender heart to abandoned soul
Alone, newborn… yet full
A star has fallen from the sky
A sign this wanderer is guided by"..
excellent poetry my dear lady.:-)venkat
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 8th December 2004 @ 08:36:07 AM AEST
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That I confess to have over thought
Everything
From comfort to bruised skin
Yes - I understand this - wonderful write, as always -
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 17th December 2004 @ 12:35:08 AM AEST
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i find your poetry excellent as it is but i often seem to find little gems in your work that for me stand out. i'e:
Break for day, oh! bleeding heart
For looking back is not allowed
If one is to ride upon the clouds
Johnny.
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 24th December 2004 @ 08:16:58 PM AEST
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Very moving and powerful. The whole first part flows together, while the last stanza is a great reflection. I've been reading far too few of this sort of poetry lately. Excellent work.
*applauds*
Andrew
(p.s. merry Christmas!) |
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by UnlovedChild on
Saturday, 26th March 2005 @ 04:42:01 PM AEST
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| Beautiful. Great write. |
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Re: Cloudy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 1st June 2006 @ 06:56:19 AM AEST
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Somehow, it seems none too confusing at all. It seems so philosophical to me. Really, I'm serious. I felt like I took a journey within it through someone else's view on life, at life, about life.....through your eyes...your thoughts.
I must say, quite an awesome thing you have here. This here brilliance of writing poems. :-)
Awesome, awesome, awesome.
Timber
(who read this several times) :D
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