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To be read in whispers
Contributed by
iodinelove
on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 03:33:12 AM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
Choosing to forget
the mild, December day
The leaves fell faster than you
The empty, ugly tree
Your love pressed and fluttered
nails across the sea
of bark and soil
The rust of you
the color of your hair
your eyes the shade
and shallow waters
of gray and drizzled days
waiting for the rain
Glass castles
with cardboard floors
painting the doors
the stove your kiss
your memories
my breath your
burgundy
And Rayne
she was beautiful
blond
an effigy
a certainty
to your grace
your humility
she was my weather
your store
of love and frailty
my cloudless skies
your lack of vision
your obscurity
You would smoke
a cigarette
i would smoke
some pot
you would kiss
a smile
i would press
the window
the lilac
eternity
that i could see
Your lithe and slender
figure against my
nervous fingers
you would touch
and triumph
I could taste your scent
your stale cigarette
and tea
I could hear your
whisper whispered
in the deepest
darkest depth
I could remember
your entirety
on mild,
December days
drinking the last
cup of coffee
wishing for the rain.
Copyright ©
iodinelove
... [
2004-12-09 03:33:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: To be read in whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 04:52:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
aww that was a gentle write, written from the heart and written well, great flow,
pixie xx |
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Re: To be read in whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Karls on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 08:49:52 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| wow...excellent write, it almost had me in tears! |
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Re: To be read in whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Remi on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 10:44:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| good write sound like it would sound good if u just whisper it i wouldn't mind hearin u perform it |
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Re: To be read in whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Red_October on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 01:58:59 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| you are an excellent poet, so descriptive and making images meld with the whispers that came from under my own breath. i was the girl for a moment, felt so intimate and the way you closed the poem felt perfect. a really excellent write. i intend to read all of yours. Tiffany J. (Red_October) |
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Re: To be read in whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 02:06:57 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
very talented vivid serene write loved this
Michelle |
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