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Dance, Dearest
Contributed by
ShadowDaughter
on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 09:32:32 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
she says she says
(or would if she knew how),
it's all
superfluous limbs
and time to dance (now fly on flax;
you know you never could)
in pseudo-silken escapades:
as every tightrope masquerade
will sap you suck your
breath and leave you brittle
once again
she says she says
discard hope; you
are not arachnoid enough
to weave yourself to sleep
and it's time to whisper away:
spread your legs
(-you're far past shame)
and bare your throat
(-just one more time)
and die, dearest, die
like a good little girl.
Copyright ©
ShadowDaughter
... [
2004-12-09 21:32:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 09:35:26 PM AEST
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| well i didnt get it. but some poems are written for only the author to understand and for the reader to contemplate. =] |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 10:03:21 PM AEST
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very deep, very dark, very pleasing.
a superb poem that few will get indeed. |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on
Friday, 10th December 2004 @ 02:57:39 AM AEST
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eternal sleep...sweet death.....which is which or both we fear.
I know of what you are getting at...though my heart is dark that poetry like this...is understandible and written in so much depth and passion towards the subject of intensity....hence the reason for being drained in writing a piece such as this...you will get used to the feeling...all masterpices have a price...beautifully written. |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Friday, 10th December 2004 @ 05:20:22 AM AEST
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didnt get it fully, but it was dark and brilliant, great job,
pixie xx |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Friday, 10th December 2004 @ 04:27:54 PM AEST
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seems a tad psychotic there dear, but still
rather good as always. I liked the part that
says "psuedo-silken escapades" that was
just cool. Beautiful poem...
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 10th December 2004 @ 05:59:56 PM AEST
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I loved this - but got a little hung up on arachnoid -
These lines were my favorite
as every tightrope masquarade
will sap you suck your
breath and leave you brittle
once again
Full and vivid -
Thanks for writing.
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 04:34:51 PM AEST
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I'm not sure if I get it, but just a couple of observations. You talk about feeling like something was taken out of you in the introduction; and you seem to relate a theme of something "sucking your breath......."
The second part seems to deal with the death of something..... not sure
A very intriguing write, I hope I didn't due it any injustice.
Willofree |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by Black13 on
Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 07:47:50 PM AEST
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To me it screams of submission and emotional even spiritual death. I don't know if it's right but it emanates from it.
It was a good write Nora.
It flowed into and around itself like water.
Perfect. |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Sunday, 12th December 2004 @ 08:37:32 AM AEST
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Sometimes the pen just spills the words on the page and even the hand that holds it isnt sure at first what's meant.
This is full of emotional darkness..I know that for certain
Roses
Larry |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cynthia on
Sunday, 12th December 2004 @ 09:11:54 PM AEST
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| This poem was different. Especially from you. Excellent write though. *S* Cynthia |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by JennyFruFru on
Monday, 13th December 2004 @ 02:06:21 AM AEST
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| maybe its just me... but this paints a really disturbing picture in my head.......... but i guess that just makes it a good write then if you can see it when you read it.......... |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Thursday, 16th December 2004 @ 05:45:21 PM AEST
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I don't understand it as a whole, but bits and pieces scream at me and what they say is
"I am a girl...becoming a woman...as unsure of myself as every woman before me...
but this is different because...only I am me."
Stitch |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Monday, 20th December 2004 @ 10:11:48 AM AEST
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You know what Nora? I very rarely understand what you are writing. But it seems to call to me nonetheless.
This almost sucked me in, and like Jarred I also felt chills.
Especially the second stanza. And I really don't know why.
Still, a stunning write, I know I shall read it over and over.
*hugs* Phil xxx
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 20th December 2004 @ 06:04:37 PM AEST
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I think I understand it, in the sense that it is tangled and sad emotion. What specifically it says is, as you said, perhaps a bit beyond understanding. And I'll let it remain at that, for I understand the mood. It's close to how I feel nights after a long or hard day, reflecting.
Life does this to us sometimes. Light will restore us, though, I feel. As long as we walk the right path, there will be a Lothlórien or a Rivendell when it is most needed. In the meantime let us keep walking, and grow if we can.
Blessings.
Andrew
(on the verge of rambling) |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on
Tuesday, 21st December 2004 @ 02:58:09 PM AEST
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This is a deeply haunting poem, but so intrigueing, and absolutely wonderful
fan-freakin-tastic
Mason |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Wednesday, 22nd December 2004 @ 05:26:03 PM AEST
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I've been here before (more than once) and left without commenting. I read.... well... a pessimism here that I can't (or won't) give into. I feel like I'm 'refusing' this piece - mentally speaking. It's an odd sort of feeling...
Regardless, I can see it for it's poetic merits. It's a rich piece... a heavy write. I'm keep reading it as I would the darker work of my favorite poets... seeking to understand it but at the same time knowingly identifying which parts are and are not true to me personally. There is much movement in my mind as I read this. It is impossible to explain though... maybe if I just say --- I adore the ending here, mostly because I can see it as beautiful (maybe you know what I mean by that). It leaves me feeling adament about something - though I'm not sure exactly what.
Powerful and intriguing...
~SNM~
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Thursday, 23rd December 2004 @ 11:49:26 PM AEST
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i don't understand
:D |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eve on
Saturday, 22nd January 2005 @ 01:24:04 PM AEST
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I feel a song weaving through this, whispering things like "Die to the world, because you weren't good enough to dance Life out..." but I'm still trying to comprehend all this. I haven't been here in a while and I simply came back to see what I've missed from you, as we haven't spoken in a while either. My fault, I assure you.
Took a lot out of me to read this... I think you've got something deep behind this that you aren't quite sure of. Somehow the way you described writing this reminds me of how I felt writing "Mourning Glory". And I still don't understand that one, so who knows if you'll riddle this one out.
Apologies and slushies and Charter marks,
-Eve. |
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Re: Dance, Dearest
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dri on
Wednesday, 8th March 2006 @ 01:23:56 AM AEST
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| this has an ee *****s feel to it, the way the seeming randomness is linked. |
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