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A relationship poem
Contributed by
zenmind
on
Friday, 10th December 2004 @ 02:19:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
She'll leave you soon enough.
A love out of obligation can only last so long.
She will smile when the next fool, warms her with his gaze,
and she will feel guily for being drawn in.
Intimate misgivings.
I'd prefer to let go and not expect anything to last,
especially this love, inefficiently expressing a story that has already ended.
I am waiting for the inevitable.
I am suffering from jet lag, and the hours are catching up.
I can't wait until I fall asleep.
I can't wait until I no longer have to live one more minute
sustained by a pang in my chest.
Sustained by a heart's stained sob.
This is so outdated.
A relinquished fear, kept alive by this wise man's blessing.
**** you. You think you are worthy to sleep soundly.
You have much to learn, young apprentice.
You have much to learn about how to present yourself
in a way that would make her want you.
Could you have said that more awkwardly?
Wait.
I have judged the last year of my life by spitting in my face.
Does it make you feel better when you have to wipe the flem from your eyes?
NO.
Honestly I have slipped,
and slipped,
and slipped,
and feel that I can never catch my next step.
It has been a difficult fall.
And once more, she cannot help.
She will give me a kiss out of obligation,
and she will hold my hand,
silently waiting for someone else.
I don't know if I will ever believe that she truly wants me.
How can I?
She is so "busy" that I question the depth of her caress.
Does she care?
She pities me, the fool who naively thought that he would be well recieved.
A pipe dream.
Forget these tattered promises lying in gutters with rats chewing through cum stained
rustic leaves, with glue binding the frowned strand of light,
warm enough so that only a cock roach could servive this temperature.
Forget these dreams you've held so close,
a girl, actually satisfied by your touch. hahahahaha
A dream!
A dream!
A dream!
Shattered.
It makes it easy to cover longer distances,
greater square inches of your seep sewage.
Ha! Enjoy your last exit.
Your last grasp on the faithful.
Enjoy your last cry in the dark,
alone, feeding spirits passed,
leaving wounds open,
fresh and throbbing
Copyright ©
zenmind
... [
2004-12-10 14:19:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A relationship poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 10th December 2004 @ 02:37:06 PM AEST
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A very intense write.
Any fool can touch physically - it's her mind you have to capture. Unless she's totally shallow, in which case you deserve better.
Cheers! |
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Re: A relationship poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ina on
Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 01:56:36 AM AEST
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three things
1) you have the best titles for your poem, simple, "morning poem" relationship poem" etc..,
2) you, my friend are very negative, you must write such a happy poem that it will make the font, while you type, into COMIC SAND TG.
3) there were moments in this poem that i liked, personally i would edit some stuff out, make it shorter, more packed with great liners...more like a journal entry now...
you should end the poem with one of those.
night.
"I can't wait until I fall asleep."
"This is so outdated."
"Could you have said that more awkwardly?"---all of these are clever ( i seem to like that word) inturruptions in the poem. Really a kind of "sighing," great great great.
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Re: A relationship poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 04:41:18 PM AEST
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I wrote this as a poem, but I agree, it turned out to basically be a journal entry, with frightening images. Very much a self defeated feeling throughout most of my journal entries......but I like this still. Mostly because it shows how my brain works, and how I'll go off on a bad trip in my mind and I'll spiral down and tell myself how much I hate myself. It's all stupid, but I like this because sometimes when I am depressed i can actually step back and look at what I'm doing and try to change my actions or reactions to whatever. I tried in this poem to do that. I wasn't trying to do anything when I was writing it, but looking back at it, my wiser self tried to bring me back to a sane mind frame, but I didn't listen and repeated what I had already said....the cycle keeps turning......I think everyone gets caught in their own mental cycles. Even if they aren't aware of it. So yeah, I didn't really learn anything from this poem....I didn't even listen to my own advice in my peom.....I rarely do.
Snap shot image
zenmind |
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Re: A relationship poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by allforyou on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 06:34:10 PM AEST
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You have such a unique writing style and I love it
--Kara |
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