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The beautiful birds......
Contributed by
ravisada
on
Sunday, 12th December 2004 @ 05:51:02 AM in AEST
Topic:
NaturePoetry
|
The beautiful love birds sit on a tree
and sing a song of spring with ecstasy love
Their chirps bring early morning delightful
and the nature of garden open its hearts for them
Their melodies ripple through the jungles
and make all the trees dances to their tune
They are beautiful with their variety of feathers
and they fly high while let out a tweet
Their unlimited freedom kept them happy for ever
and they don't depend on anyone for their food
They build their nest well in the trees to protect them
and they take care of their young ones with affection
They can be trained to become friends of human but
they should not be kept in the cages without their freedom
When the season changes to the winter then they flock
together to other part of the world to find food and shelter
These birds are great creation of God and I long to see
them with anticipation.
Ravi Sathasivam / Sri Lanka
Copyright @2004 Ravi Sathasivam
Copyright ©
ravisada
... [
2004-12-12 05:51:02]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The beautiful birds......
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ada on
Sunday, 12th December 2004 @ 06:04:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| The poem is too literal and the use of some phrases such as ecstasy love just doesn't sound right... ecstatic love would have sounded better. But you know what, poems need not be perfect. Overall, your poem was okay, but you need to improve. Please don't take my negative comments badly... |
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Re: The beautiful birds......
(User Rating: 1 )
by Apolla on
Sunday, 12th December 2004 @ 05:03:44 PM AEST
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| This poem was kind of like reading a science report to me with a few opinionated comments here and there. It could have been better. |
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Re: The beautiful birds......
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 12th December 2004 @ 11:14:29 PM AEST
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This is a very beautifull passonate write.
Obviously some folks jus don't get into nature but I luv this write and feel that you've captured the beauty of the luv birds.
Keep writing, my friend.
Ya know a friend once told me if I wanted to get to know God the way he did to go to nature and I'd find him there. We'll my friend was 100% right and I'll never forget how the blinders fell from my eyes once I tuned into nature as that wasn't hard to do as I jus a little ole coutry gal.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy
A masterpeice of beauty. |
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