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Black & White
Contributed by
wray
on
Wednesday, 15th December 2004 @ 10:26:16 AM in AEST
Topic:
ambiguous
|
Black and white
flash the riddles
I glance at;
black as my door shuts
and silence feels the walls;
white for the breath I exhale and
the comfort of his voice in my ear;
black for the thundering heart and the
tremulous cries;
white as the knowledge of
shelter from the crowds;
black as the crucified taunts
of a senseless soul;
white for salvation bequeathed
by the only spectator;
black for the tempests of termites
drilling through this skull;
white as struggles cease with a
heart like lead;
black as the raining daggers
shot through the shield;
white for the taste of
release, and the peace;
black for the burning
of a thousand bridges;
white as the matchstick
ripped from my teeth;
black as the raging rivers of
blood, while he gashes me open;
white for our bliss
when the world disappears;
black for the frenzied
rage of his thrusting;
white as the cobwebs
sifted through our minds;
black as the towers of
hesitation crumble;
white for the dawn that
will never come;
black for guilt, hate, hopelessness,
hope, and this
slow burning;
white
because I no longer care.
Copyright ©
wray
... [
2004-12-15 10:26:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Black & White
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on
Wednesday, 15th December 2004 @ 11:44:32 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I'm not entirely sure what is being described in this poem... The last two stanzas suggest that the persona is a rape victim, perhaps by a friend or lover, but the specifics of the story are lacking... When i first saw the poem, my initial thought was "Papyrus," but it's clear now that that was way off... I like the jaded desensitization described by the last two lines of the poem, but beyond that, i think it's over my head. The alternating between black and white to describe conflicting emotions is a cool effect though, and one i think you should experiment with some more, perhaps even applying it to different subject matters... Though this isn't one of your best poems, your strength as a writer definately still shines through... I'd like to see what else you can do with this... Butterat Zool. |
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Re: Black & White
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 03:40:03 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| it's diffrent, but as is alll of your work it is good. |
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