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Playing Games With Words
Contributed by
Doriens_Picture
on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 03:33:10 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Drinking sweetly the trickling toxin
Getting drunk off wanted words
Lusting for silk lined lips
Your mouths his honey
A kill for a kiss
Red rebirth
Am alive
Lost love
Arisen at an angels arms
Bended by brilliance
Caring crying comforting
Drug dosed disguised
Eloquence electrifies eternity
Forgotten finding forever
Golden gilded gaze
Hearts honing heralds
Inevitably intertwined inseparable
Justly joining journeys
The winter comes to
Those who close their hearts too long
Colder than before
When hearts were open to
A love that brings in the light
A Rekindled flame
Of a candles wick
When burning brightly like stars
Fill the atmosphere
Jade Clifford
Just everything I have ever wanted
All my dreams taking form
Dispersions of my soul
Everything
Caring so much I am about to burst
Loving her so much it almost hurts
In an eternity I could not tell her all I feel
Falling for her made me whole and almost real
Fortunes of gold can never compare to her
Only she can make me feel this way
Ready for anything to come astray
Copyright ©
Doriens_Picture
... [
2004-12-18 03:33:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Playing Games With Words
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueeyedevil13 on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 03:45:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this is really good, i like it.
but what really caught my eye was that in the 2nd paragraph you start every word with the letter at the beginning of the sentence. thats really clever. good job,
keep writing
av |
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Re: Playing Games With Words
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 10:10:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| really good job. It shows a lot of thought and time..I enjoyed it a great deal. Thanks. |
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Re: Playing Games With Words
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 10:36:47 AM AEST
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very creative writing, very deep and very moving,
pixie xx |
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Re: Playing Games With Words
(User Rating: 1 )
by Broken_Skin on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 01:16:47 PM AEST
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Oooh.... very very nice. Me gusta mucho.
5 out of 5. Such beautiful phrases. |
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Re: Playing Games With Words
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 11:42:51 PM AEST
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| well i dont know so much for format what you were really trying to do. but hey, does that actually matter? =] i liked the last stanza of course because it rhymed. and i liked parts of your other stanzas for their creativity and how they were fragmented to leave to ponder. hrm a lot of things to drink are bad for you, but i dont know about this... |
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Re: Playing Games With Words
(User Rating: 1 )
by little_genna on
Sunday, 19th December 2004 @ 04:26:16 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this is very interesting...........
Holds so much, yet there are not nearly as many words to how many emotions it holds.
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Re: Playing Games With Words
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Tuesday, 21st December 2004 @ 11:07:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow another awesome write
Peace and hope
JENNI |
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