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Murderous secret
Contributed by
worldsenigma
on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 12:01:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
It started as a secret
a secret between
you and him
him and you
something you know is wrong
but still decide to do
prisoner to your guilt
you hide from the world
pleading to be set free
without your secrets being unfurled
constantly looking over your shoulder
paranoia takes your now
someone knows your secret
everybody knows!
but how
now you sit in the corner
as the world looks at you in shame
you try tp duck and hide from them
but the feeling stays the same
and now you have ruined yourself
by secrets left untold
It all started with a mere secret
that left your mind stressed
and cold
Copyright ©
worldsenigma
... [
2004-12-18 12:01:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Murderous secret
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 12:02:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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very deep and strong write, well done
pixie xx |
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Re: Murderous secret
(User Rating: 1 )
by Artemis03 on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 12:06:24 PM AEST
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| I love this write..the flow the everything...You claim u wish u could write as "good" as me....but I don't think ya wanna lose ya own talent....hehehe wanna split half of mine and half of yours...hehe |
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Re: Murderous secret
(User Rating: 1 )
by One on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 02:42:19 PM AEST
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hm.. is this your mental tenorrhaphy? |
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Re: Murderous secret
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 11:30:50 PM AEST
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excellent write. you had a very nice way of putting things, such as, "prisoner to your guilt". a lot of things do that to people, and people dont even realize it is happening. this part stuck out to me the most,
"It all started with a mere secret
that left your mind stressed
and cold" i believe a poem should start out strong, and end powerfully and to make it worth the wait to read. you succeeded in this. for some reason i really liked this part of your poem the best. but you have talent, and im glad you dont keep it hidden away. |
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Re: Murderous secret
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dorkfish on
Thursday, 30th June 2005 @ 03:20:59 PM AEST
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| Wow, I really like that one. Very well written. |
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Re: Murderous secret
(User Rating: 1 )
by Artemis03 on
Thursday, 30th June 2005 @ 07:01:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wow.......::speechless:: |
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Re: Murderous secret
(User Rating: 1 )
by Artemis03 on
Thursday, 30th June 2005 @ 07:01:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wow.......::speechless:: |
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