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Hall of Sensitivity

Contributed by Luka on Monday, 20th December 2004 @ 06:47:06 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

In the hall of sensitivity
Your hear a different melody
Liquid words
Said in shame
Down the Drain

In the hall of sensitivity
Here she is next to me
Your very own casualty
Held tight
With the snakes venoms bite

In the hall of sensitivity
She can be set free
Dont be afraid
Come to her aid
A soul for a soul thats the trade

In the hall of sensitivity
Come along
Its where you belong
Permanently bound
Here at the devils playground

Copyright © Luka ... [ 2004-12-20 18:47:06]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Hall of Sensitivity (User Rating: 1 )
by neglected1 on Monday, 20th December 2004 @ 06:49:17 PM AEST
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"permanently bound
here at the devil's playground"

those were my two favorite verses... they speak loud emotions...
i enjoyed your work from begining to end!!

Wonderful
~neglected1~

Re: Hall of Sensitivity (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 21st December 2004 @ 09:36:29 PM AEST
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You left a comment on one of my poems (about still breathing while you sleep). You are very right. I don't know how I could of not picked up on that!! Thank you for the feedback, i'm surprised no one else pointed it out.

I enjoyed your poem above. In the second line 'Your hear' doesn't sound right, not to me anyway.

Re: Hall of Sensitivity (User Rating: 1 )
by Luinil on Monday, 10th January 2005 @ 08:12:21 AM AEST
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very dark and creative... great writing *

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