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Yellow Ribbon
Contributed by
CodyJ
on
Thursday, 23rd December 2004 @ 10:28:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
war
|
It will come.
Don't worry about the smaller things,
the bills to pay, the wedding rings,
whatever it is the future brings,
wait for it, and it will come.
Don't spend each day like it your last
or you'll end up with a mottled past
with days that go by too fast,
savor them, and it will come
Don't rue the day and curse the morrow,
don't lose yourself in senseless sorrow,
if each breath and hope you must borrow,
then pay them back, and it will come.
Don't stop your life in this time of war,
remember who he's going for,
obviously one that he adores,
wait for him, and he will come.
Copyright ©
CodyJ
... [
2004-12-23 22:28:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Yellow Ribbon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Friday, 24th December 2004 @ 02:27:41 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I like this a lot, Cody. This is both loving and intelligent... moreover, it is nicely written. There's a neat cadence to this piece... it begs you to keep moving along through it.
If I could make one small suggestion, I'd recommend inserting "far" into the following line: "with days that go by far too fast"... the extra syllable here improves the flow, I think.
I'm really touched by this - it's a lovely gift to your mom and a terrific tribute to her husband. Very nicely done, Cody!
~SNM~ |
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