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I wish I could...
Contributed by
Jane_Doe
on
Sunday, 26th December 2004 @ 04:45:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
SecretLove
|
I wish I could know if it was her or me,
That you think of when you smile to youself.
I wish I could understand what you mean,
When you follow me around and give all me all your attention.
I wish I could see what you want,
When you look at her like you never look at me.
I wish I could ask you to take me away,
To exonerate me from this crime of lonliness.
I wish I could tell you to love me instead,
She's too young, too unrealistic.
I wish I could realize that you're out of my reach now,
It was a phase and you won't be looking back.
Copyright ©
Jane_Doe
... [
2004-12-26 16:45:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I wish I could...
(User Rating: 1 )
by SocialMisfit on
Sunday, 26th December 2004 @ 04:58:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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love, it is a tricky and fickle thing when in highschool, dont worry you have the rest of your life to find the right guy he is out there :D just be patient.
SM |
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Re: I wish I could...
(User Rating: 1 )
by smooshable on
Sunday, 26th December 2004 @ 05:00:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wouldn't consider it poetry? why on earth not???
Its absolutly beautiful, one of the most beautiful things I have read.
I love the structure, I wish followed by why. I love the uncertainty, not knowing if its her or you, hoping its you, suspecting its probably her. I love the imagery of lonliness being a punishable crime, cause that IS how it feels. I love the logic amongst the emotion, she is to young. I just love the whole thing! Thank you for sharing it. |
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Re: I wish I could...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dan666 on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 09:54:00 AM AEST
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a Message)
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good write i say what they say
Dan666 |
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Re: I wish I could...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 03:33:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I enjoyed this,dont ever put yourself down you are good. |
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Re: I wish I could...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 03:48:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Nice poem. Welcome to YPDC.
Spazzo |
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Re: I wish I could...
(User Rating: 1 )
by CAUGHTinAdream on
Monday, 10th January 2005 @ 07:05:06 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| oh my gosh i can relate to this so much! Guys can be so confusing sometimes, with all the mixed signals and signs and everything. But don't worry, it will all work out how its supposed to be! Patience is the key even though i know its hard, but the right person will come along :) Great job |
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Re: I wish I could...
(User Rating: 1 )
by UnlovedChild on
Sunday, 27th February 2005 @ 04:39:01 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Sweet touched write. Keep up the writing. |
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