|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
your fault
Contributed by
vampyrekiss
on
Thursday, 30th December 2004 @ 07:10:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
I'm done
I Have givin up
You pulled the final string
holding me togather
Now I slintly re treat to my room
I will not let you see
what you have done
will not let you know
youve won
till its too late
when you come down
and find me
the bit of me that was left
was broken
and you will see me
hanging
in the middle of the room
wrists slashed
and a puddle below
on my desk
youll find a letter
i will tell you
that you are
the reason this became
maybe
i would still be here
if you didnt cause
so much hurt
and squach my soul
And I wish I could have stayed
but life with you
was to tough
but I have gone
to a better place
where you cant find me
and maybe
they will love me here
Copyright ©
vampyrekiss
... [
2004-12-30 19:10:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: your fault
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Thursday, 30th December 2004 @ 08:12:06 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Please do not blame someone else for a selfish act that you and you alone have control over. I hope this is only supposed to be a work of art.. It is filled with spelling errors..togather should be together.. youve should be you've.. squach should be squash.. If you're going to be found dead, and leave a note..please let them think you were literate!!!! |
|
|
Re: your fault
(User Rating: 1 )
by XxNights_ChildxX on
Thursday, 30th December 2004 @ 10:28:11 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
wow that was quite a rude comment above....i thought ur poem was good and very emotional, and everybody makes spelling mistakes, like god were only human autumn :P obviously he/she hasnt been in the suicidal shoes, yes it is ur decison but people also push you to the brink of it and torture you, anyways im dun, great write hun
Jenni xxoo |
|
|
Re: your fault
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Thursday, 30th December 2004 @ 10:39:16 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
why assume where autumns been? ive been in suicidal shoes before, but i too care about grammar. have pride in your work, youre the one who writes it. if it doesnt get enough attention from you, then it doesnt need attention from anyone else.
emotional write, and nice ending. |
|
|
Re: your fault
(User Rating: 1 )
by Worldwise on
Friday, 31st December 2004 @ 01:43:33 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Good poetry, but I almost would say good story. Yes life is the one factor that we all have control over, the one power that lies within all of us. We have the decision to make or take it, yet that decision rests in minds that can be broken... An unfortunate weakness that affects us all.
But who is it that makes us decide to end such an existence when it could be me, you, or myself when myself is only my mind and me is only my body.
Anyway, I think you could expand on your poetry. After reading it all it just seems to flow over and over again into the dark rituals of suicide. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
