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untitled#2
Contributed by
miss_erika
on
Thursday, 30th December 2004 @ 08:14:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
no other thoughts
this is the end
I hate you
is all she said.
Across the room
she gives a blank stair
she hates the world
lifes so unfair.
Falling apart
she cried all night
she'd rather givin
then put up with the fight.
she tried so hard
but it was never enough
shes running out of energy
her storys getting rough.
the love she gave
slowly became lust
she keeps crying
till her tears turn her to rust.
she remembers more
then shed like to forget
she trys to avoid it
but gets so upset.
with no words
her feelings she wont share
she'll end it right now
she just doesnt care.
Copyright ©
miss_erika
... [
2004-12-30 20:14:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: untitled#2
(User Rating: 1 )
by the_Ghost_Moth on
Thursday, 30th December 2004 @ 09:01:59 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
"tears turn to rust"
is a creative line
I like.
You should play with those
metaphors.
--Ghosty |
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|
Re: untitled#2
(User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on
Sunday, 9th January 2005 @ 09:11:26 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| You could have done more here..metaphors are your friend remember that.. |
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