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THE BLADE THAT IS MINE
Contributed by
pUnKa_RaCh
on
Friday, 31st December 2004 @ 12:33:53 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
i reach for the cold blade
and i begin to feel relief
in my bath of blood i wade
the blade is no longer cold
it makes my skin warm
brings numbness to my body
as the wet tears begin to form
the cuts are pure
i try to slice at my shame
forgiveness from the blood
deliverance without a name.
the blood is always there
unlike you
on the red i can always depend
to follow thru
the hurt is gone
the emptiness begins to fade
i feel joy over
the temporary comfort I have made
my blade is mine
its there for me to keep
i hide the scars
that secretly run so deep
i carve "Lost Forever"
into my leg
for that is my name
i once had a future
now nothings the same
this feels too good
it should be a sin
no one can take away
this ecstasy that im in.
Copyright ©
pUnKa_RaCh
... [
2004-12-31 00:33:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: THE BLADE THAT IS MINE
(User Rating: 1 )
by blacksabbath026 on
Friday, 31st December 2004 @ 12:49:51 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| i cant say that i dont cut bcuz i still do sometimes but u need to write about other things, everyone writes about cutting in dark poetry, i stay away from those topics even though they are impossible to avoid, u should read my poem Suffocated by Darkness, neways if u r gonna write about suicide or self mutilation then u need to be unique or else noone will take you seriously |
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Re: THE BLADE THAT IS MINE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Riot_Girl on
Friday, 31st December 2004 @ 01:39:14 AM AEST
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a Message)
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So ***** awesome.. god.. it made a cold shiver down my spine as it rushed me into the cold memorys of my past. very nice work, keep it up :)
-Julie |
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Re: THE BLADE THAT IS MINE
(User Rating: 1 )
by sicknivesevered on
Friday, 31st December 2004 @ 06:03:05 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Though blacksabbath026 makes a valid point about how most Dark Poetry writes are about carving, I didn't feel any trace of generic BS in your poem. And even though I don't wield a blade myself, I thought it was really good. So f*** all the unoriginal poems out there, beacuse this write is brilliant. My favorite part is:
"the cuts are pure
i try to slice at my shame
forgiveness from the blood
deliverance without a name.
the blood is always there
unlike you
on the red i can always depend
to follow thru"
Excellent work.
P.S. - Thank you for your comment on "Cling With Me" and yes, they are lyrics. |
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Re: THE BLADE THAT IS MINE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 08:49:39 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| maybe someday youll find another comfort. powerful and well written poem. nice show of talent. |
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