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Utopia
Contributed by
eyesxcriedxout1989
on
Saturday, 1st January 2005 @ 04:31:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
River bed stones
And water so sweet
Crystal and clear
Cool against bare feet
Take some more steps
Hear the splash again
See the red roses along the banks
Pick one, walk to the edge, and then
Gasp at the beauty
Of the trees so tall
Redwoods of west
Never did one leaf fall
The water did not tumble
And cascade to the ground
For it couldn't
The water was all around
The trees bathed to mid-trunk
In the sparkling liquid
I dipped a foot
As the birds sang a ballad
Stripped and nude
Comfortable in flesh
The cool water, so inviting
A bath so fresh
Eyes damped shut
And sodden with water
Wipe them to open
And then I did falter
A pair of beautiful eyes
Staring into my orbs of blue
Our lips parted
And the dream did too
Copyright ©
eyesxcriedxout1989
... [
2005-01-01 16:31:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Utopia
(User Rating: 1 )
by the_Ghost_Moth on
Saturday, 1st January 2005 @ 04:35:39 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Cool, I did not know we
both were posting new poems!
This is beautiful and awesome.
You keep getting better.
A nice melancholy romantic piece.
--Ghosty |
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Re: Utopia
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 06:50:53 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| this was very good, it still fit into your style of writing, love, but it was different. it had a very surreal feeling, almost like i was dreaming about reading it. anyway, a very good write. |
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Re: Utopia
(User Rating: 1 )
by cuddlytiger17 on
Sunday, 9th January 2005 @ 04:04:08 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I really like this. Peaceful and beautiful. The
imagery is very powerful. Great job. You've
definitely shown a lot of improvement from
previous works I've read of yours. =) |
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Re: Utopia
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Saturday, 19th March 2005 @ 09:40:55 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| this was crazy, i really loved the kind of description you've given here, and i really enjoyed how u ended it, great write. |
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