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Malicious Angel
Contributed by
EternalNight4x
on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 02:36:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
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She was a malicious angel Pain was all she brought She had used and abused him Never thought shed get caught Feigning her affection for him He was used like a toy Falling for her trap He believed her fake joy Too nave to see What she really was inside All her morose desires From him she did hide His innocence she tainted All for her twisted game Now their both alone She is the one to blame How she truly felt Would not get through his head And he refused to believe Her love for him was dead So in one last attempt Again she spilt her heart And now they have Finally split apart Yet never could he hate her For love he still did hold All though she was so ruthless Extremely bitter cold She was a malicious angel And brought him only pain So how can he still love her Someone please explain
Copyright ©
EternalNight4x
... [
2005-01-03 14:36:31] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Malicious Angel
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyaryssa on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 03:01:40 PM AEST (User
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I like the way it ends, which is usually the hardest part. I ill say this though: Stanzas are your friend! Especially when your poem is in four-line abcb rhyming form thing. You didn't explain what was angelic about her, although the malice came across OK. It might be a bit vvague, and beware of being cliche. |
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Re: Malicious Angel
(User Rating: 1 ) by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 03:49:02 PM AEST (User
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I didn't notice anything cliche in this piece.
Very good write |
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