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Malicious Angel
Contributed by
EternalNight4x
on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 02:36:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
She was a malicious angel
Pain was all she brought
She had used and abused him
Never thought shed get caught
Feigning her affection for him
He was used like a toy
Falling for her trap
He believed her fake joy
Too nave to see
What she really was inside
All her morose desires
From him she did hide
His innocence she tainted
All for her twisted game
Now their both alone
She is the one to blame
How she truly felt
Would not get through his head
And he refused to believe
Her love for him was dead
So in one last attempt
Again she spilt her heart
And now they have
Finally split apart
Yet never could he hate her
For love he still did hold
All though she was so ruthless
Extremely bitter cold
She was a malicious angel
And brought him only pain
So how can he still love her
Someone please explain
Copyright ©
EternalNight4x
... [
2005-01-03 14:36:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Malicious Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyaryssa on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 03:01:40 PM AEST
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| I like the way it ends, which is usually the hardest part. I ill say this though: Stanzas are your friend! Especially when your poem is in four-line abcb rhyming form thing. You didn't explain what was angelic about her, although the malice came across OK. It might be a bit vvague, and beware of being cliche. |
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Re: Malicious Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 03:49:02 PM AEST
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I didn't notice anything cliche in this piece.
Very good write |
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