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Clock-set Profundity at 5:47 AM
Contributed by
ShadowDaughter
on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 06:29:32 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
gleamed the clock,
insidious through fireflies
and second-chance regrets,
"you are
nothing new"
to sunbirths
in glazed vermilliamber
phoenix-quill mementos
(it never knew one could write
with flammable feathers;
clocks are notoriously unskilled
at viewing morning skies)
nevertheless
at precisely 5:47 AM,
shining (not for birth, sun-fashion--
obeying orders, only
as a good clock should)
and carelessly searing
through settlesoft silence,
it informed the clock-people,
"wake! wake!
The sun rises now, and it
is said to be profound."
so they, awoken, watched
at the call of the clock
as it
was said to be profound
and didn't dare admit
their automatic thought--
"why, you are
nothing new!"
(after all, it
was said to be profound)
and, tiptoeing back to bed,
pondering the meaning of
profundity,
the clock-people never knew
how the sun, seeing (do suns see?
as much as those watching do)
their incomprehension, thought-
"why, you are
nothing new."
(it meant, "you are new,
but not from your yesterday self"
--they would not have understood
the hope
in the words of the sun.)
Copyright ©
ShadowDaughter
... [
2005-01-03 18:29:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Clock-set Profundity at 5:47 AM
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 06:54:29 PM AEST
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| nice poem,keep up the good work! |
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Re: Clock-set Profundity at 5:47 AM
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 05:03:19 AM AEST
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Why, this is nothing new, Nora.
Just another calculated equation of inspiration.
The "meaning of 'profundity'" being the topic of a solar/inner conversation is profound in itself . . . and this makes me think of the loss of spiritual focus that daily rat racing incurs. An age-old subject, but approached at an interesting, unprecedented angle.
I'd like to try being critical of this, but to be honest, I'm unsure of how to proceed. It doesn't rhyme, so I think i'd best leave it to your own discretion, as we are all our own best critics, no?
Anyways-- hoping my next submission is as thought-provoking, I'll finish. |
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Re: Clock-set Profundity at 5:47 AM
(User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on
Friday, 7th January 2005 @ 05:36:14 PM AEST
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| Solid flow..Good write, |
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Re: Clock-set Profundity at 5:47 AM
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eve on
Saturday, 22nd January 2005 @ 01:32:18 PM AEST
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|
Ouch. Heavy thoughts indeed.
Honestly, this pinpricks my heart and tells me I need to start getting up a little earlier.
In a nonliteral sense, I mean.
Your rampant mind amazes me still.
When they say you're not that strong you're not that weak,
-Eve. |
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Re: Clock-set Profundity at 5:47 AM
(User Rating: 1 )
by Whitelightning77 on
Tuesday, 25th January 2005 @ 11:44:49 PM AEST
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|
A free-form description of the daily grind that too many of us go through. pay no mind to me, a bit of a struggle first read through.
thanks for sharing!!! |
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Re: Clock-set Profundity at 5:47 AM
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bleeding_Nightmares on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 11:05:05 PM AEST
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| deep poem with raw feeling and ideas, excellent poem. |
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Re: Clock-set Profundity at 5:47 AM
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 18th February 2005 @ 11:41:33 PM AEST
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| i liked this poem very much. thanks for posting it nora. |
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Re: Clock-set Profundity at 5:47 AM
(User Rating: 1 )
by AndTheFoolShallBurn on
Monday, 19th September 2005 @ 11:56:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| You say you're not sure how you feel about this one, but I like it a lot. Very different, with a very...um, I can't actually think of the right word. I can interpret my own things from this, and they'll be far different from anyone else's. |
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