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Venomous
Contributed by
CrimsonTears
on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 10:44:38 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Kiss my deadly lips
My venom is so very sweet
I can be quite poisonous
I will knock you off your feet
A cold chill runs down your spine
As your body begins to shake
You think that it is nothing
But its your life that I will take
Youre fading in and out
Sweats pouring down your face
Theres nothing you can do now
My venom is now set in place
Your spitting out warm crimson
It taste like something youve had before
Its sweet just like my deadly poison
Its got you wanting more
You scream out my name
And until I come u keep on trying
Youre longing for my venomous kiss
Because you know that you are dying
One last kiss I will grant you
On your lips that are so cold
But it was on MY lips that you died
And that is a memory I shall hold
Copyright ©
CrimsonTears
... [
2005-01-03 22:44:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Venomous
(User Rating: 1 )
by meganloberg on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 11:41:55 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I like it. A lot.
I'd take a few words out, like
My venom is now set in place
-->My venom is now in place
I guess thats just the way I'd like it, maybe flows better to me
But hey...it's yours, and thats awesome |
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Re: Venomous
(User Rating: 1 )
by blacksabbath026 on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 12:36:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| very well done, very good talent |
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Re: Venomous
(User Rating: 1 )
by subnet_spider on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 02:20:54 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Excellent write, very expressive. |
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Re: Venomous
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kitty_cat on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 08:10:24 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I really liked this. Class poetry. |
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