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A Boy with a Tube in his chest and Moons in his eyes
Contributed by
ina
on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 10:23:44 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Thumb-size tube
in his fragile chest
he walks
dragging behind
a tank
Three Times Bigger
than his small celestial body
into our room
he zigzags
peeks at me
from inside the doorframe
eyes
like brown moons
hair
black like fingertips during an eclipse
won't speak
child wrapped in leather
chest swelling
like a little peach pump
pick him up
light as love
smells like strong cheap soap
good enough to eat
brrrr! into his neck
suspended laugher yet
the moons shake in their orbits
just a little
looks at a picture
of Neil Armstrong
waves to him
with queasy fascination.
His chest like a sand dune now
up and down
but he doesnt notice.
I do.
His forehead soft and sweaty
my eyes filled with
swelling concern.
Dont worry kid
we are both
explorers
survivors
two regular Neil Armstrongs.
In
His eyes---
I feel like
I landed
on the moon.
Copyright ©
ina
... [
2005-01-05 10:23:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Boy with a Tube in his chest and Moons in his eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 10:40:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| The title grabbed me as it reminded me of "Boy With the Moon and Star on his head" (Cat Stevens) and led me to give it a read. You've given a beautiful description here, and if it's a current situation I hope he gets better. Blessings! |
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Re: A Boy with a Tube in his chest and Moons in his eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 10:49:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| FANTASTIC! You really allow us to feel sympathy for this boy. Tremendous use of language. |
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Re: A Boy with a Tube in his chest and Moons in his eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 10:53:58 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
wow I have nothing to say apart from that was bloody amazingly written, tugged on my heartstrings
pixie xx |
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Re: A Boy with a Tube in his chest and Moons in his eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 10:54:37 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow, I am going to agree with Jarred here,
this is amazing, so heartfelt and so sad.
I really do sympathise.
I hope he gets better, I really do.
And amazing write, it just pulled at my heartstrings.
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: A Boy with a Tube in his chest and Moons in his eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 12:42:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| You know I love your stuff, but glad that others are catching on! Nice piece - very full write. You seem ripe with emotion and are able to get it out the words so well. |
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Re: A Boy with a Tube in his chest and Moons in his eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 02:34:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this made me cry..it's wonderful. I'm writing crud today because I'm in hell .. but I have to keep writing or I'll stop.. this was an inspiration to keep on..thanks. |
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Re: A Boy with a Tube in his chest and Moons in his eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 04:53:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Hope this trip did you some good.
I like this one - howsa bouts some comments on otherses stuff now? |
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Re: A Boy with a Tube in his chest and Moons in his eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by sicknivesevered on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 04:56:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Theres nothing I can say that the others haven't; just want you to know that I loved it too. (^_^)v |
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Re: A Boy with a Tube in his chest and Moons in his eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by reilt on
Tuesday, 18th January 2005 @ 01:20:51 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| brilliant....quite the masterpiece* love your work. |
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