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One Last Breath
Contributed by
EternalNight4x
on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 11:47:59 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
Fragile heart
Shattered soul
Drift apart
An empty hole
Hollow eyes
Ashen skin
Lives a lie
Lives in sin
Feigns her joy
Feels but pain
Hearts a toy
Sorrow rains
Takes the blade
Frigid touch
New scars made
Hoped too much
One last scar
Down her wrist
For her to mar
No longer exist
Blood cascades
Crimson ink
Unafraid
To death shell sink
Eternal rest
Slips into death
Its for the best
Her one last breath
Copyright ©
EternalNight4x
... [
2005-01-05 11:47:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: One Last Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 11:48:48 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
great flow, a very tragic write
pixie xx |
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Re: One Last Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tru2Myself on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 11:59:07 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| great poem. I really liked it. not great one for me to read at this very moment though. Ha. great poem i like your style. Lauren |
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Re: One Last Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by TaintedSoul on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 12:11:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Simplistic and tragic. Emotions bled well within the words, a concise write. Hope the world lightens for you soon.
peace
TS |
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Re: One Last Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 02:27:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| love the way this is done..one word into the next.. |
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Re: One Last Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bridget_theMidget_Powerz on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 06:06:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is great on every scale, the flow, the wording, the structure, I am very much impressed, you have much potentail |
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Re: One Last Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Crash on
Thursday, 6th January 2005 @ 01:50:54 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| I love this piece of work! it flows, pours emotion, and hits close to home |
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