|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
A Story Between Rain and Snow
Contributed by
butterat_zool
on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 06:58:59 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
1. Eventide
Rain drops, playing on the ceiling.
Rain drops, playing on my life.
Your eyes, I cant forget this feeling.
Rain drops, quiet as a knife.
2. Fireplace
Cracking,
The embers are born.
They seize and die
Like a single-use firefly.
The candles
make the room warm
and orange
as our coq au vin(1)
melts into our bodies.
This wine,
This evening,
Is for you.
3. Cellar Door
The rain pulses like a mother
down on our gentle world.
I have but grains in an hourglass
before I can no longer make you love me.
We don yellow slickers and golashes
over our carefully chosen garb,
and I strike a flare
to tint our world red
as I take you down
through my cellar door.
4. Warehouse
The rainwaters flow into this red room.
I lead you past hoses and watering cans
And take your ivory hand
To protect you
As we cross spiders webs
And beetles nests
To reach the very back
Of this dusty haven.
A secret knock on a secret switch
And that which I love most
Is now in your charge.
I take you through the hidden hallway
As we enter the room
Where I will love you.
5. Kingdom
An angel may have brought you,
But a devil will take you away.
Youre here inside my kingdom
And your breath has naught to say.
The marble floor to ceiling
And the goldworks in between
Shine yellow even though red light
Is all that can be seen.
Come lay you down upon this angelic little bed
And Ill sing songs to your splendor
While you rest your gentle head,
And Ill wrap you in the feathers
Passed down from a royal son,
From a flock of geese hand-picked
by a young Napoleon.
I hold you with my words
As a siren holds her prey
And my arms engulf your body
And your hair smells like earl grey
And you give yourself completely
As I kiss you on your neck
And we move along to Paris
Cause I cant stop at a peck.
Come lay you down upon this angelic little bed
While the subtle smells of Christmas
Float inside your porcelain head
And to my surprise, the rain grows cold
But no heart goes unread
And kingdom come, thy will be done,
We lie still as the dead.
6. Iceland
I cant help but smell the fear
On the shadows of your breath.
Our hearts beat in time
With what cant be rain.
Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax.
Can you hear that?
Can you hear that sound?
Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax.
Lets get out of here.
7. Escape
The beetles nests
And spiders webs
have frozen solid.
The flares been shut up.
The marble and concrete
Slide us away.
What was dust is now
Crystal and icicle.
And we come out
My cellar door.
8. Okay
Oh, stopped the rain
And now it's snowing.
Inside, the candlelight's
Still glowing.
So stopped your pain
And now I'm showing
That inside, your
Desperation's growing.
Relax! Relax!
Relax! Relax!
All God's children,
All-star children,
Relax! Relax!
Relax! Relax!
All ghost children,
Are ghost children.
All ghost children
Are ghost children.
All the children...
9. Back Inside
The slickers and golashes
Break away and melt
As we head back inside.
The snow falls all but silently.
The fireplace has been
Sufficiently choked,
But somehow,
The congregation of candles
Found the will to carry on.
The house smells like the blue army(2)
As the last grains of time
Fall away.
It seems my goal has been met.
10. Finale
As we embrace and intertwine,
Whats mine is yours and yours is mine,
And hem hath holpen(3) for this time.
As we embrace and intertwine,
The snow descends on me and mine,
And heaven never felt so fine.
As we embrace, we both resign
To share our fates. Well be just fine.
Forever leaves our world behind,
And here well stay,
Trapped in by snow.
1 Coq au Vin: A French chicken stew, literally Cock with wine, a batch of this usually calls for an entire bottle of red wine.
2 Blue Army: The Yankees in the American Civil War. During this time, soldiers were grouped into Companies of 100 men. This is a reference to a large number of candles in the house, a play on the name The Yankee Candle Company, which makes scented candles.
3 Hem Hath Holpen: Middle English for he had helped them, taken from the prologue of The Canterbury Tales, this is a reference to divine intervention.
Copyright ©
butterat_zool
... [
2005-01-05 18:58:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: A Story Between Rain and Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by jjones12 on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 07:09:58 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Good:) |
|
|
Re: A Story Between Rain and Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by wray on
Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 12:15:18 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Whoa-a-a-a-a!
This is the singlemost vivid, intense creation I've read by you. I might be biased coz I'm female and sentimental, but this was just breathtaking (or breath-holding maybe, in some parts)! I was with you every step of the way, and by reading it slowly and lingering over each line your world just completely took over my sense of reality for a good 15 mins.
Deep breath and go. The opening was perfect, exquisitely mood-setting and scene-setting. With the words "as I take you down through my cellar door" in Cellar Door I really felt like I was being hand-led down the steps into the world you described, which is such a rare experience when reading a poem (for me, at YPDC).
Iceland on its own wouldn't have impressed me much (not for lack of skill but just lack of memorable impact) except it sure did impact following right after something like Kingdom. Your mix of moods throughout these 10 songs is just plain riveting. I'm impressed that Okay was able to be a part of this collection - the first stanza brought a smile to my face when I realised its place in the overall story. Finale was a suitable finale but the ending didn't hit me that strongly, but I guess that was your intention, to stop it like that.
And I had to save the best for last: Kingdom blew me away. One of the most romantic, beautiful things I've ever read! Awesome as a climax. I now see you can write very mainstream poetry when you've a mind to ;)
So the ones that really stood out for me were Kingdom, Eventide, Fireplace, Iceland... actually pretty much all of them, I just like to compulsively rank things.
The romance (of both kinds: loving and moody) and atmosphere was captured so sweetly here I'm speechless. You've displayed an awesome array of talents and writing styles. Please please, never lose the inner romantic in you that compelled you to assemble this masterpiece(s). |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
