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Welcome To My Mind
Contributed by
wray
on
Thursday, 6th January 2005 @ 04:01:29 AM in AEST
Topic:
fantasy
|
Welcome to my mind
Where people eat books and play my spine
A pendulum swings through water and wine
Down twisted hallways glazed so kind
A purple odd ball for cats to find
Mongst boys and girls all whipped in line
A coral bed for weeds to dine
Welcome to my mind.
The weeping maidens feel no sound
Nor that of pennies twice a pound
To feed a rolling horse or hound
Whose choking leash is tighter wound
A twelve-foot spider justly bound
Where acrid smells and locks are found
Steeped deep in ashful mirrors round
Welcome to my mind.
These windows taste the dark of day
These tunnels see a glassy mere
Where tentacles are held at bay
And cannot break the peace in here
They know what ants on this path say
Their webs are spinning ever clear
Two dice will tumble as they may
Welcome to my mind.
Copyright ©
wray
... [
2005-01-06 04:01:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Welcome To My Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Thursday, 6th January 2005 @ 05:17:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Thanks for the smile.....
Enjoyed this...
Jenni |
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Re: Welcome To My Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 6th January 2005 @ 08:51:33 AM AEST
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| I love words like tentacles and tumble. For some reason it makes me think of a riverboat gambling cruise, although that is probably not your intention. (Sorry it's just the memories I have!) It flows smoothly. Thanks and cheers! |
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Re: Welcome To My Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 6th January 2005 @ 09:01:15 AM AEST
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It looks like it was fun to write....thanks for the glimpse.
I like the format. |
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Re: Welcome To My Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on
Sunday, 9th January 2005 @ 09:47:35 PM AEST
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| If you could find some way to put this poem on a doormat, i think that alone would give you the best house on the whole island... Your nonsense has a gossamer-thin thread flowing through it, tying everthing up very loosely, but very neatly... my only minor issue with the poem is the rhyme scheme shift in the last stanza... you did so very well running the aaaaaaab rhyme scheme for the first two stanzas, it thre me off a tad for the last one, though perhaps that's one of your deliberate yet subtle displays of loose connectiveness that flow effortlessly through this poem... either way, i bow to you, and you are no longer allowed to say you can't write as well as i do... your control over this poem is masterful, and your approach to your subject matter is light and fun, which is often the toughest tone to pull off in the world of poetry... Good write. Good day. Good Wray. Butterat Zool. |
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Re: Welcome To My Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sinned on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 08:47:51 PM AEST
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Silly fun I liked being inside your mind. I did read Butterrat_zool bedtime prayer and it is a great poem.
Good night friend
Sinned |
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Re: Welcome To My Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 19th January 2005 @ 06:41:45 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I'd go with BZ's commentary.
Twee, but interesting |
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