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THIRTEEN (where did you go?)
Contributed by
Bohemian_with_a_pen
on
Sunday, 9th January 2005 @ 12:35:08 AM in AEST
Topic:
SongLyrics
|
Thirteen, tell me where did you go?
Found the note in your hand but I still dont know
Your absence sits at the table.. a new family member
Thirteen, you said youd stay but you didnt remember..
CHORUS:
Thirteen baby, please come on home
I cant make it here all alone
Thirteen, I dont know what to do
If you had just lived for me..
Thirteen, why did you pretend?
You shouldve let us know you wanted it to end
Your little body was drenched in rain
Soaked in pain
You had fallen through the clouds and back again
CHORUS:
Thirteen baby, please come on home
I cant make it here all alone
Thirteen, I dont know what to do
If you had just lived for me..
Thirteen, just a child
Raining tears, storm is wild
Our photos on the mantel piece, always in wait
Before you left did you look at it and hesitate?
Thirteen.. now its far too late
CHORUS:
Thirteen baby, please come on home
I cant make it here all alone
Thirteen, I dont know what to do
If you had just lived for me..
I wouldve died for you
(died for you)
Copyright ©
Bohemian_with_a_pen
... [
2005-01-09 00:35:08]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: THIRTEEN (where did you go?)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Unheard_Mute on
Sunday, 9th January 2005 @ 01:02:36 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| wow... this was great... |
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Re: THIRTEEN (where did you go?)
(User Rating: 1 )
by kidpoet_213 on
Sunday, 9th January 2005 @ 01:40:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
That was a good first atempt... I liked it!!! Thirteen seems to be my lucky number... LOL! I was born on the Thirteenth... though it wasn't a Friday Thank GodLOL! It was a Monday! Not that I'm superstitious or anything LOL!
I wouldn't change a thing... I can feel the rhythm in the words... It reminds me of an old England Dan and John Ford Coley song... I just can't remember the name of it right off hand...
Anyway good write... you got here!!
~Donna~ |
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Re: THIRTEEN (where did you go?)
(User Rating: 1 )
by iodinelove on
Sunday, 9th January 2005 @ 02:29:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| songs never make much sense to me until i hear them sung....this is good though....i just want to hear the music to it.....i like music ^_^ |
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Re: THIRTEEN (where did you go?)
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Sunday, 9th January 2005 @ 03:04:46 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| i like this, its a great song~` and its very sad but i like it...i have written a song called Thirteen too!!!! lol so if i post it dont think i stole ur idea....its on a diff topic. but this was a nice song, good write |
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Re: THIRTEEN (where did you go?)
(User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on
Sunday, 9th January 2005 @ 06:45:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| For a first timer not to bad here..Not real catchy but it was good.. |
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Re: THIRTEEN (where did you go?)
(User Rating: 1 )
by devine_xox on
Sunday, 9th January 2005 @ 03:06:33 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Im a songwriter and that was a good first attempt. You have a story to tell but with songs you cant repeat to much of the lyrics especially in a song like this. For example the word thirteen. I suggest you rewrite to chorus to give the song more of a hook to be catchy. You can play with your words and re arrange them and see how you go but well done for your first attempt.look forward to seeing more |
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