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Black Ice
Contributed by
desolantdreamer
on
Monday, 10th January 2005 @ 05:20:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
He stands there and stares
Reminising
Black tears cloud his vision
He walks away
Too many memories
Winter
He has despised it
Ever scine it clamed her life
It always held the feeling of death
So cold and harsh
He gave up long ago
Every horrible thing that happened to him
Was in winter
Coming unnoticed, undetected
Until it was to late
Like black ice
Copyright ©
desolantdreamer
... [
2005-01-10 17:20:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Black Ice
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 10th January 2005 @ 06:00:14 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Well black ice is formed by the weather freezing when there is water on the ground. You could add a bit more of a freezing metaphor. And it's "since." But you've got a good start on what could become a great poem. Cheers! |
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Re: Black Ice
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Monday, 10th January 2005 @ 07:36:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Any pain that clutches at your heart and makes you feel cold..numb.. or if you feel out of control because people don't see black ice normally and they skid..and crash..going out of control.. great idea though .. |
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Re: Black Ice
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sexygirl on
Sunday, 3rd October 2010 @ 02:50:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is very well written..I hope to read more words from you in the future...take care |
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