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The Greatest Memory That Hasn't Happened
Contributed by
eyesxcriedxout1989
on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 07:45:23 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
A blue striped towel
Lays on footprinted grains
A cherished memory I haven't had
Rushes back to me again
Feet planted and I'm staring
At an oil-painted picture
Me lying on that towel
Lying there with her
Kisses and incoherent breathes
Broken by her laughter
I love yous and
The sleep that came after
She smiled as I held her
And cried when I took out the rose
Her eyelids fluttered at the scent
When she held it close to her nose
The sun was setting
Across the ocean, clear
The little box came out of my pocket
For the "night" was here
The velvet box
I held in my hand
I kneeled and opened it
And she couldn't stand
Tears filled her eyes
Twice more than the rose
She sobbed and nodded
And held me close
The day-dream fades
And the empty towel appears
Already I wish to see it again
And my eyes are wells of tears
Reaching in my pocket
I can almost feel the ring
Listening to the ocean
I think I heard her sing
Half-erased footprints
Lead me to nowhere
Just further from the towel
And the memory that's held there
Copyright ©
eyesxcriedxout1989
... [
2005-01-11 07:45:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Greatest Memory That Hasn't Happened
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 07:46:45 AM AEST
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I think that this is so very deep and emotional, written well,
pixie xx |
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Re: The Greatest Memory That Hasn't Happened
(User Rating: 1 )
by Arsenic on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 07:53:02 AM AEST
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| I don’t know if I got it or not. What triggered the memory or fantasy? The oil painting reference makes me think that this is a dream of what may come to pass, based on an actual oil painting of a beach scene without anyone in it. Kind of a ‘what if’. Even if I missed that part of it, a good poem and story. |
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Re: The Greatest Memory That Hasn't Happened
(User Rating: 1 )
by Scarlett on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 08:04:50 AM AEST
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| that was lovely. really descriptive and touching. |
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Re: The Greatest Memory That Hasn't Happened
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 08:25:19 AM AEST
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Mason, this was bloddy briliiant. A very emotional piece. Great poem as always.
Hugs,
Jane x |
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Re: The Greatest Memory That Hasn't Happened
(User Rating: 1 )
by SmokinJoeEvil on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 10:21:24 AM AEST
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| It always happens that people want the ideal... they almost expect it, really. Which is sad. Because most times, things aren't going to work out like you hoped... you aren't going to be as happy as you'd imagined... and a lot of people end up disappointed with life. The girl you propose to... her eyes welling up in tears as she simply nods and takes you in her arms... what really happens is called life... and it rarely looks like this... but kudos for trying. |
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Re: The Greatest Memory That Hasn't Happened
(User Rating: 1 )
by the_Ghost_Moth on
Wednesday, 12th January 2005 @ 05:23:56 PM AEST
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Nicely done.
Your openness to
experimenting with poetry
is helping your talent mature.
--Ghosty |
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Re: The Greatest Memory That Hasn't Happened
(User Rating: 1 )
by EVERxSOxSWEET on
Wednesday, 12th January 2005 @ 11:46:18 PM AEST
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| Wow mason..that was great...i could picture everything as i was reading it...great job..my friend kristen [ CAUGHTinAdream] loves it too! Grrrreaaatt job, that one was amazing! |
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Re: The Greatest Memory That Hasn't Happened
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on
Saturday, 7th June 2014 @ 11:31:35 PM AEST
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| Great write Mason, had me in tears thinking about the emotions involved here. |
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