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running fingers through your beautiful brown balding
Contributed by
feathercut
on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 07:03:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
sitting towers stare the size
the walls higher and higher
can you find a hole to recognize
rusting and spilling too much milk
a baby drank and drunk
i was love i was fire
i was sad i was young
i was right
life has left
could you give me something
to talk to you about
a will to comfort
is shimmering
in your eyes
but i just cant
seem to find the words
i just cant
hear the skys
tearing stars of youth
belonging
not to this
and not to him
as he strays another woman
stays a girl she waits for him
dont wait for me
i am going
i am my own old man
i am my own mistake
he made and now
i understand
why do i
understand
give me a ciggarette
im going out for some fresh air......
Copyright ©
feathercut
... [
2005-01-11 19:03:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: running fingers through your beautiful brown balding
(User Rating: 1 )
by wray on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 07:10:37 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Interesting to read, I enjoyed the sense of sigh-look-at-my-life-ness in this piece, and the disjointedness between your thoughts. Call me traditional but I like the line "i was love i was fire" -- very sweet and passionate and strangely not out of place in this poem. Good write :) |
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Re: running fingers through your beautiful brown balding
(User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 07:49:19 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| It amazes me we all speak English yet half of you people cannot write it in a correct form.I think you would misspell your own name if it were not a tatoo on your arm..A BABY DRANK AND DRUNK...CIGGARETTE,,I could go on..But what is the point..Go ahead and censor me .. |
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Re: running fingers through your beautiful brown balding
(User Rating: 1 )
by subchild on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 08:09:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Nice word use there fella..This is repulsive. |
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Re: running fingers through your beautiful brown balding
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 08:22:32 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
When I read this the first time I was kinda sickened by the line,"A baby drank and drunk"
but wasnt gonna say anything but something pulled me back to this and the same line grabbed me.WTF I hope a baby never drank let alone get drunk,what were you thinking when you wrote this or were you drunk,just asking.Repulsive and insignificant write.
PEACE! |
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Re: running fingers through your beautiful brown balding
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 10:04:30 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| interesting. seems to be the american anthem in some parts. |
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