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:.MaYbe.:
Contributed by
pUnKa_RaCh
on
Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 08:12:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
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If I killed myself Maybe you would see I loved you deeply And you were meant for me If I was dead Maybe you would realize My anguished hurt And hear my bitter cries Would you cry for me? Feel guilty for what you caused? Open your eyes Or happily applause? How would you feel Looking down at my lifeless body Thinking back to your words Those cruel words so clearly My heart is better off dead Than beating for you I want to die now Because of your love so untrue Maybe it would make you see What you did was not ok How you pained me so In every possible way Someone just kill me now Shoot me in the head All because of him I desire to be dead
Copyright ©
pUnKa_RaCh
... [
2005-01-13 20:12:30] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: :.MaYbe.:
(User Rating: 1 ) by Whitelightning77 on
Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 08:22:28 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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anguish spoken. see past the pain and grow to be strong. easier said than practiced.
good flow
thanks for sharing
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Re: :.MaYbe.:
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rolzwalt on
Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 08:26:02 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Sad.. I'd say. I really like the rhyming. The harsh imagery really hardens your point. I'd change 'Appluase' to Applaud though. It's a good read... and I'm sorry if you went through this. |
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Re: :.MaYbe.:
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 09:53:46 PM AEST (User
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This is such a sad write.
It's good though...and I like the flow
Nice work. |
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