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Underyellow
Contributed by
ROUGE
on
Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 06:36:48 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
When the pain you feel inside
Fears you can not hide
And the acceptance you choose to fight
Comes to pass, underyellow every night.
All you wish to do is go
Tears can no longer flow
And minutes..the pass slow.
All this in the arrival of the underyellow
Trust comes along vaguely
Its banishes qiuckly
And the hour is sad.
So you try to lift the shades
To let in the brilliant light of morning
Experienceing the haunting of the undying yesterday
All this in the sacred silent arrival of the underyellow
When all you want to do is go
Down...down far away...
Beyond Below.
Copyright ©
ROUGE
... [
2005-01-17 18:36:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Underyellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 06:39:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is an excellent start. Your spelling and punctuation could be cleaned up a little, but I see a lot of potential with this. Keep writing.
Stitch |
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Re: Underyellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 07:34:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Good write. I can feel your emotion in it. Nice work. |
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Re: Underyellow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 08:12:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i agree with stitch and marisa. very good write. excellent ending. |
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