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As Silent As The Stars
Contributed by
Bohemian_with_a_pen
on
Saturday, 22nd January 2005 @ 11:29:11 PM in AEST
Topic:
drugabuse
|
Falling
Tumbling
(constantly cascading)
down
down
d
o
w
n
into the pit of despair
aching for your love
(yearning for your hate)
You said yourself that there is beautiful order
in addiction
(effortless seduction)
Our love was a graveyard of fleeting passions
You, trying to drown yourself in the rivers of alcohol
(The water as dark as your dreams)
Me, carving art into my human canvas
(as silent as the stars)
Us, together
(yet alone)
Slowly killing ourselves
(with an audience looking on)
Copyright ©
Bohemian_with_a_pen
... [
2005-01-22 23:29:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: As Silent As The Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Unheard_Mute on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 12:02:33 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow, I really don't know what to say |
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Re: As Silent As The Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 01:55:33 AM AEST
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There appear to be two parts to this poem; the part that was written with five minutes in mind, and the part where the words finally found meaning and kidnapped the poem for their own uses. I like the second part.
Several of your metaphors were rather aesthetically pleasing, though the dark overtones that oppressingly pervaded the poem were slightly off-putting in relativity to the imagery provided. If you had a theme or moral in mind when you were writing this, please tell me--I'm lost looking for one. |
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Re: As Silent As The Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Doriens_Picture on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 02:47:11 AM AEST
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five min wirte how many days of thought
good write |
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Re: As Silent As The Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 01:49:21 PM AEST
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You said yourself that there is beautiful order
in addiction
(effortless seduction)
I totally love this part. So very true... |
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Re: As Silent As The Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 03:11:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| amazing piece and obviously brilliant talent to write it in such little time. |
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Re: As Silent As The Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 27th February 2005 @ 05:21:59 AM AEST
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Well I don't do metaphors-n-all that stuff but this is awesome!
It's a masterpeice of wisdom-n-briliance.
Luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: As Silent As The Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 01:00:31 AM AEST
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well woven words with a powerful impact... hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: As Silent As The Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Monday, 26th September 2005 @ 07:42:43 AM AEST
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a Message)
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What can I say? A well very well spent 5 minutes. A great poem, very... strong, if you will.
Take care.
David |
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