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Wishing Well
Contributed by
CodyJ
on
Monday, 24th January 2005 @ 02:53:01 PM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
This well is not well,
a cold burning hell,
with blackness so black
you can't even tell
if you're up or you're down,
if you're feet touch the ground,
if you're words make a sound,
if they're even words at all,
lost in the free fall
falling like a snow ball
in a gale so pale
a shadow so ailed,
failed, gone stale.
Wake up to find
you're not losing you're mind,
you're still falling through hell,
in this well that's not well
that you can't even tell
if you're sick or you're ill,
if you've filled all your fill
of this desolation,
this isolation,
this segregation
of you from the others,
the white from the colords,
the brothers from brothers,
sisters from mothers.
Hit the bottom alone,
a place so unknown
it chills all the bones
that you find out you know,
you're really alone.
Copyright ©
CodyJ
... [
2005-01-24 14:53:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Wishing Well
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Monday, 24th January 2005 @ 03:02:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this is how I get sometimes
and every word I say rhymes
I don't do it any more..
life seems such a bore.
grass is green, water's wet
how are you today, my pet? |
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Re: Wishing Well
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 24th January 2005 @ 03:31:10 PM AEST
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You won't feel too aggrieved if I mention the fact that this is very wayward in its flow at points, will you?
"a shadow so ailed,
failed, gone stale."
I suppose you are trying to describe (in irony) the disappearance of the purpose to rhyming there . . . so you get credit for that . . . if you meant it . . . which i'm not sure of since you equated loneliness with the facilitation of rhyme, which is totally alien to me.
At any rate, I bothered to comment, so It must have interested me . . .
Keep writing.
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Re: Wishing Well
(User Rating: 1 )
by biggredd on
Monday, 24th January 2005 @ 09:26:56 PM AEST
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Hey, Joker! I'm not sure if I quite got the meaning of your words yet, I'm still trying to figure that out, among other things. Anyways, I liked it, though I'm not sure what it means, lol. Thats just me, though. PSYCHO!!!
Bigg Redd |
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