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the sea
Contributed by
hughie610
on
Tuesday, 25th January 2005 @ 01:03:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
Event
|
the sea
the first day i wen't to sea i remember
it wasn't july it was december
the son of a seaman i expected to fare well
but to me it was pure hell
the high waves , the mist,and the fog was thick
it's no wonder as a young man i got horribly sick
some days were normal and we would see a whale
but in the north atlantic the wind blew a gale
we were on duty twenty hours each day
protecting the merchant ships on their way
when the alarm went on in the middle of the night
from your hammock you would run in full flight
some depth charges were dropped while others we would catupult
hoping to get the submarines that were about
sometimes the waves were thirty feet high
and above was a very black sky
when we returned to port and our duty was done
it was now time to have some fun
many people i met and became friends to be
and a few are still out in the cold ,blue sea
after three years of service i was finally free
and i kissed the ground and danced with glee
author hewitt hardy august 1 2004
Copyright ©
hughie610
... [
2005-01-25 13:03:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: the sea
(User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on
Tuesday, 25th January 2005 @ 01:19:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Kind of weak to be honest..There was no depth to the Sea itself or no real flow between the outlook you could have shared here.. |
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Re: the sea
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 14th January 2008 @ 04:15:57 AM AEST
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| i liked the opening line, and the last two! However, maybe you can try tying them together better in the middle. it seems to end a bit abruptly |
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