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Poet's Ramblings 6
Contributed by
FleurdeSang
on
Tuesday, 25th January 2005 @ 03:33:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
The sun has risen,
Although she gives no warmth
Stubborn cloud hangs over me,
Casting a morbid shadow of lost memories
The knife is pleading to taste my flesh once more,
I ignore it the best I can,
But, it is so tempting
A euphoric drug that accommodates pleasure,
Feeling the anguish rush out of your veins
Yet, like everything else,
It disappears, leaving you in a deeper, darker hell
Ah, Misery, my newest love
Death lingers,
And Sorrow has a new nameme.
Lost within the arms of Forget,
A smile reveals itself from the fog,
And I remember
When God was all I believed in,
And Innocence was my friend
When love was all I felt and knew
Alas, mine eyes weep melting recollections,
Sweet, gentle grievance
Tears stain my paper,
Joining with the ebony blood my pen has sacrificed,
For the sake of venting
Crimson lips whisper my hideous fate,
And kiss me goodnight
Bleeding roses drown me in their morbid splendor,
The plague is passed on through a smile,
And the endless fog engulfs me once more
Rainbows of ash shine on me,
Death all around me
The violins cry a shrill tale of my legacy,
The dusty piano coughs a weak note,
And all is lost
Wandering an infinite road to Nowhere
Alone and dreary,
Yet, my mask stays on
No one shall hear these lonely sobs,
No one shall see these shameful tears
Spent and weary,
I walk my last mile of Existence,
Frustrated to find I have a mile more
And for what purpose?
For what reason should I live on,
And force my shackled legs to a journey that has no meaning?
My pallid canvas holds,
What I come to so fondly call,
Poets ramblings
Only worthless jargon,
Expressions made for heedless eyes
Life is an illusion, a perpetual odyssey to Oblivion
Belief is a sin,
Beethoven in the background, is now dead
Legends are forgotten,
Dreams die,
And so have I
Words can only say so much,
Before the image dies
Copyright ©
FleurdeSang
... [
2005-01-25 15:33:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Poet's Ramblings 6
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Tuesday, 25th January 2005 @ 04:11:02 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| i have to say... i am impressed! its ironic but i found myself smiling as i read your poetry and not becuase im cold hearted ..no, it was beacuase i once found myself where your standing..(maybe im still standing there i dont know) and you describe it so perfectly...so damn perfect. im blown away. you ask why carry on with life? well becuase you have an amazing talent for writing...it'll take you far. i loved all of it! (with the exception of " belief is a sin") i def. encourage you to keep writing...i mean you only live life once, what better way to live than pin pointing the exact emotion of strangers in a masterpiece...? |
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Re: Poet's Ramblings 6
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Tuesday, 25th January 2005 @ 06:45:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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That's right. I see you are throwing down the good stuff again. I loved this piece. As I was reading it, I kept wanting to highlight a few lines, and copy them to post in this comment, but as I kept reading I found more lines that I wanted to highlight. And so, I found that the poem just kept getting better and better. This was definitely a true expression of yourself. Let it be a ramble. It is still true, and I can see your struggle through your poetry. That is what a great poet does. They put their life onto the page. Another thing is that I felt that this was a really creative poem. Well I mean, all of your poems are creative, but I think when you allow yourself to "rant" and "just write" as I say, then you really allow your heart to show through. It is the creative process coming to life. So I'll highlight some lines that I thought were amazing.
Lost within the arms of Forget,
A smile reveals itself from the fog,
And I remember…
When God was all I believed in,
And Innocence was my friend…
When love was all I felt and knew…
Alas, mine eyes weep melting recollections,
"mine eyes weep melting recollections"----that is pretty much as good as it gets, my friend. It's such a great image, surreal (as you like to say), reminds me of salvodore dali. Also another thing, is that I felt like this part was really honest. It really dipicted the state of being you are experiencing in your life. It shows where you were, "When God was all I believed in" and it shows where you are now, "Alas, mine eyes weep melting recollections. I think this illustrates why I love these "poet's ramblings" so much, because I think that this is the part where your poem got really good. And it started to get good when you got into your flow. When you started the poem, it was good, and you were expressing yourself, but like with all good flows, the longer you write the better it gets, because you are opening yourself up as a writer, and it's like you build up steam, and your going faster, and faster, and faster, and the poem keeps getting better and better, with more creative images, that you might not have written at first, but because you allow yourself to keep writing, it flows out.
Sorry this is a long comment.
Bleeding roses drown me in their morbid splendor,
The plague is passed on through a smile,
And the endless fog engulfs me once more…
Rainbows of ash shine on me,
You use the greatest images here. "Bleeding roses"---that is a powerful image because of the striking contrast. "The plague is passed on through a smile,"----another great line. Again, you use the contrast with your words in a striking way. "Rainbows of ash shine on me,"----Awesome.
Wandering an infinite road to Nowhere
Alone and dreary,
Yet, my mask stays on…
No one shall hear these lonely sobs,
No one shall see these shameful tears…
Spent and weary,
I walk my last mile of Existence,
Frustrated to find I have a mile more…
This is shows the depth of your experience. It shows how you feel alone ("sameful tears, weary, frustrated") and it also shows how you hold it in, and do not express it, ("My mask stays on") so that no one knows that this is your true experience. However, I am glad that in your poetry, you do express it. You let down your walls which takes a lot of courage because you show yourself truly for how you are in all of your weakness.
And for what purpose?
For what reason should I live on,
You should live on because you are here.
Everyone is placed where they are, in order to experience what they are experiencing. We live in order to experience, pain, suffering, joy, love, peace, war.....All of these things are encompassed in what life is, and the reason why are alive, is to live. That's really hard to accept especially when it's this hard for you, but remember that life encompasses everything, and every day if you really look hard enough, you will find something to be grateful for. Thanks for writing this. Keep the series going.
Be True,
zenmind
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